Tampilkan postingan dengan label Thoughts. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Thoughts. Tampilkan semua postingan

Jumat, 15 Mei 2009

Life is beautiful, if you're my cat

When I see my cat sleeping like that, I can forget all the hardships in my life for a moment and realize that not everything is bad. I know good times will come back again and my life will be full of joy and happiness. And maybe I will be sleeping as peacefully as my kitty.

Her name is Miša (pronounced [misha], same as the actress Misha Barton. But the word doesn't come from her, it comes from the word miš [meesh], which means 'mouse' in Slovenian. Miša therefore means 'mousy'. Cute, ain't it? Her second name is Buša (pronounced [boosha], which has no meaning, just sounds cute). Miša (or Buša) is born in april 2005.


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Rabu, 13 Mei 2009

Destination unknown

Wednesday. At home. Thinking. Why?

我想你! 你想我吗? Why thinking so much anyway? Doesn't make sense. But it makes me human. It won't help me, but it makes me normal. Do I want to be just normal? Part of me, yes. Part of me, maybe. I don't wanna be like Amy Winehouse or something. Just wanna be unique. But I wanna be strong as well. I wanna radiate confidence and happiness. Need to break from the past, wheather I want it or not. The wheels are in motion, I can't stop the train anyway. Even if I could, it's the wrong train, it would bring me to the wrong destination. I need to stop right now, take a breather and then look for a new one. This time the right one.

[Photo: Natasha Yi]

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Selasa, 12 Mei 2009

TV is dead.

Tuesday really sucks when it comes to TV. There's nothing to watch. I remember when I was a teenager, that was between 1990-1995, TV was number one. Nobody had laptops and internet, there was no chats, no Twitter, no Facebook, no blogging, no online news or You-Tube. Sure, these things are nice, but they make us estranged and isolated. Where are those saturday evenings when the whole family gathered infront of the TV and watched a show together? A show that would be discussed on Monday with your school mates? Or those Saturday night movies like Rambo or Die Hard or some Arnie flick. I remember how the discussion about the movie was more exciting than the movie itself. Have you seen how he punched him? Have you seen how he tricked them all? Those where the times when you knew that action heroes are real heroes with high values and morals. It was predictable and sometimes silly, but I loved happy ends. I loved those last scenes where the hero kissed a woman or where the kid said: Dad, I love you and he replied: I love you, too, champ.
And what we have now? A Batman full of vengeance, a blond James Bond full of anger? Most of the movies nowadays are sometimes so complicated, that you really don't get the begining and the end. Some just don't make sense and a happy end is rather exceptional than the norm. Movies nowadays are about special effects rather than plots. That's why you get something for the eye, but nothing for the brain and heart. There's exceptions, of course. But I'm talking about Bolly I mean Hollywood, the mainstream suppliers of movies. (Where's the difference anyway?) So, sometimes, when I off my laptop and sit infront of the TV, I just keep switching those channels and there's nothing to watch. Always, when I'm online on my laptop reading or writing a blog, I have CNN on. 10 years ago I would have MTV on... But what can I do? MTV is dead, too! I'm sick of those moronic 'reality shows' like Rock of Love or Paris Hilton looks for BFF. These shows are all fake and trashy. MTV should change its name, it's not a music television anymore. It's a freaking Freak show TV (what a sentence, if you use this one, please quote me). Anyway. TV is dead. It's shallow, fake and boring. One day I will tell my kids how it used to be. They will hardly believe me.
So, TV is dead. Internet is now about 15 years old, it's a teenager. Soon it'll be full age, then grown up... and it'll die around 2050 (my prediction). I'm sure something else will be born instead. But who knows... Ok, I'm switching off now.
(Garfield)

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Relationships, soulmates, dreamgirls

I'm not dwelling on the past. It would be too many unanswered questions. I know I'd get very emotional and everything... That doesn't help me at all. The girl's made up her mind. Time will heal all the wounds. And I will be better as the days go by. Actually I'm fine. On the outside. But now I try my best not to peek inside. I have to stay on the surface, I have to stay on track.
I know I won't have a girlfriend very soon. I need put away my emotions I invested in the recently ended love story. I'm someone who never goes into a relationship just for fun. I take every woman seriously. If I see that someone's no girlfriend material, I don't start anything. I realized I'm looking for a soulmate. Someone who I know will always love me and I will love her always, too. And most importantly, we will be best friends. I don't understand people who are in relationships and their partner is not their best friend. My girl has to be my number one and I have to be her number one. If I'm sick, jobless, depressed, angry, sad - I want my girlfriend to always support me, stand by my side, be patient with me. Because I would always do same and be the same person to her. Is it too pathetic when I say that I'm a person who would die just to save my soulmate's life. Wouldn't you do that if you were facing that choice?
Yea, I met some fine women in my life, had 3 long relationships. My teen years weren't that serious and I forgot most of the girls from back then. And I loved every girl I was with to the fullest and tried my best to make them happy. I was 2 times the 'breakee' and 1 time the 'breaker'. The hardest thing for me was to break up myself. To break someone's heart is really devastating. She doesn't talk to me anymore. This makes me sad. But now I can't do anything about that. I wish her all the best and will always keep her in my heart.
So far, I haven't found my soulmate. No girl was a perfect match for me. And if I was a different kind of man, I'd probably break up much sooner. But the way I am: I can't. It's like I fall in love and obviously I only see the girl's best side, I project my desires onto her and create an image of her that she's not. That becomes obvious after a while when we both show some other not so pleasant traits of our characters. And then the quarrels start. I want this, she wants that. I think it's this way, she thinks it's that way. Of course you can't always agree on everything, but sometimes it just too different. There have to be some common interests. It shouldn't be, that you have to ask your partner to be into something, to show interest and excitement for something. It should happen naturally, spontaneously. So far, I haven't had a girl who'd really meet my expectations in this regard. Of course, first, you do anything for your loved one, but after a while, you become yourself again and you realize that you expect more. You should be yourself from the beginning and that's how you'll prevent future surprises.
So, is it possible to find a soulmate? I see many people and hear from them how happy they are. But how come so many people break up or divorce nowadays? Is it really so hard, that you have to throw the towel so fast these days? A while ago I heard this saying: It is easy to make a different woman happy every day, but it's very hard to make the same woman happy every day. There's a lot of truth in it. And the problem is, you have no guarantees in life. A relationship can go well for a year, for 5, 10, 20 and then people break up... You can never be sure. You always have to invest in it, you have to keep renovating it (like a house) and keep it intact, fresh and interesting. I don't mind the routine. I think the sometimes dull every day stuff has its charm. I'd immedately trade excitement for stability and security.
So now I'm looking forward. I have to learn from my mistakes, have to make it better next time. I will be more careful, I hope. Maybe I'll check more thoroughly, but that's for my own good. I can't be careless any more. I don't wanna waste my emotions and time. And I still won't give up on finding a soulmate/dreamgirl. There must be someone out there. My perfect match. Where are you?

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Minggu, 10 Mei 2009

Tomorrow is my Doomsday

So... I wonder what will happen tomorrow. I will have 'the talk'. Wow. What is there left to say after so many days of virtually no talk at all? Will I be crushed? I don't know how to prepare myself. I don't know what to say, what to expect. I'm having so many theories about all kinds of outcomes. It's hard to deal with matters of the heart. I may feel numb today, but maybe it'll crush me tomorrow. Or maybe it won't. I just know I am worn out because of all this. I just want it to stop. I want my harmony back. Even if it's not a real harmony. I don't wanna talk about who's wrong or right, who's fault it is that everything is the way it is. Maybe it'll just be simply over and not a new set of conditions. I really don't know. It is what it is now. I guess it's over when it's really over. Is it? Will it be? We will see.

To be continued...

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Sabtu, 09 Mei 2009

Faithful


I was always faithful to others. But seldom faithful to myself. It seems as whenever I made a decision in the past where I would really follow my own will, my own desire, I hurt someone. Why do we sometimes decide to be loyal to ourselves and hurt others by doing so? I hate situations where I'm deciding between 2 lives to be fundamentally changed by my decision. And whatever I'd chose, I'd make at least one person unhappy. Sometimes even miserable. So why can life (let's say life is something real) be so unfair? I know it can't be. Life doesn't know 'fair' and 'unfair'. Life knows nothing. Life is what we project into the idea behind the word 'life'. It's a process. Some people just live, do what they want, betray others, lie, never keep their word - but they're happy! I always try to please everyone. To keep my word is holy to me. Holy as the holy father to the pope. But always striving to be perfect, to be honest, friendly, polite, true... it's tough. I'm not claiming I don't lie at all. But my lies are harmless. It's those white lies or those that make the truth look a bit nicer. Mostly I try not to lie by avoiding a topic that would make me lie if I had to talk about it. But all these things are unimportant. I did not betray anyone in a long long time. I did not wish bad to anyone in a long long time. If I did, it was because I felt the person was mean or unjust to me or to someone close to me. I don't wish bad to anyone in this world. I want people to be happy and successful. Seriously. I mean, is my reality any better or worse if someone is happy or unhappy? Not if this person is not involved in my life. So, now we're in a recession. I'm in one since I graduated 2 years ago. I didn't have the best job waiting for me afterwards, even though I finished as one of the best at our top university. I made some tough choices in these recent years. My life could've been totally different. But what good can happen if I dwell on the choices that I made in the past? Nothing. Completely nada. I just keep eating myself up and getting smaller and smaller. Yea, to be faithful to oneself is hard. Because people like that have it tough. I think I must change my mindset. I see people with less intellect and integrity, with less knowledge and humanity having a more successful life than me. I don't want to make the impression that I measure success in material things. But being almost jobless for so long is not a good perspective for a successful life. I work, but for what I do I could spare myself the 7 long years at the university. So if soon there will nothing heading my way (and the recession is not really promising in this regard), I will lose my patience, my mind and my faith in everything.

I hope I wake up soon. This dream is already wearing me out.

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Jumat, 08 Mei 2009

Emptiness



Empty. Lost in memories of the past. Anxious to look ahead. Trapped in the present. What should I do? I decide to stand up, open the front door and leave. It's dark. Forest all around me. I keep walking. The road is empty. And long. The more I walk, the better I get. The road is now my meaning of life. My goal is to keep going aimlessly. I don't want to reach anywhere. I don't want to go back or even look back. I can make a stop. In that moment the world stops for me. I realize we're all on the same track. I just hate myself for being able to understand this useless life. Some sleep, eat, work, eat, sleep and repeat that every day. But they're happy! I try to find sense in everything I'm doing, seeing, feeling. It's tiring. It's wearing me out. And you are far! I'm alone and lonely. The more you distant yourself from me, the more real I get. I'm realizing that everything we built up is just a cover for nothing. Our curtains are veiling a wall, not a window. And in the end, I'll end up alone again. As I always were. Memories are sweet, but they will get bittersweet later. I'll be still walking down the same road as always. Only this time I really won't turn back. I may appear sober, but I'm highly emotional. Crushed. But I have to keep walking. I'm walking. I can't stop, I have no control.

And then he stopped.

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Kamis, 07 Mei 2009

New low for German politics

In March 2009 was that horrible school shooting in Winnenden, Germany. A 17 year old boy killed 15 people and himself as well. Germany was in big shock. People were speechless. Two months later the politicians finally found a solution for something like that never to happen again in the future. Now you may think Germany is one of the most progressive coutries in the world. The greatest musicians, inventors and thinkers came from Germany: Goethe, Schiller, Bach, Kant, Guttenberg, Daimler... Therefore you can only expect the best solutions coming from this country. You would think to prevent school massacers, they will implement a law to ban all weapons for private ownership. I mean, why do you need a weapon, if you're not a hunter or policeman? Well... Nope. German politicians had a better idea! Among some other measures

They will ban paint ball!

"Paint ball will be banned, because it immitates shooting", explained one politician. This is where my post stops. I am speechless.

*Update: Apparently there's some people in the German government who use their brain. I just saw in the news that they will check again if the proposed ban of paintball is any good. It was said that they probably won't completely ban it, but just raise the age for those who will be allowed to play and have a tighter control over it. That happens when you act before you think. It's a disgrace.

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Minggu, 03 Mei 2009

Chinabounder left a comment on my blog

I was a little surprised when I saw that the formerly 'infamous' ChinaBounder left a comment on my blog. It was on my post about Jackie Chan's remarks that 'Chinese maybe had to be controlled and that Taiwan was chaotic'. In that article I also quoted his post that tackles the same topic as well: His thoughts on Taiwan and it's democracy. I really liked his post. Here's his comment on my blog:

ChinaBounder said...

"It’s a disgraceful comment. Chan, like so many governments around the world, is obviously prepared to betray democracy and the ideals of freedom to keep Beijing happy. When there’s money to be made, few people stand up for truth.

Taiwan is a fine example to China, and should be honored by the world for its achievements; but it gets almost no respect."


So after I saw this, I checked the link of his comment and it lead me to the real ChinaBounder's blog (Sex in Shanghai / 欲望上海). It was indeed him. I just wondered how he found me. I remember leaving few comments on his blog some while ago, but he has so many comments on each post that I wasn't sure if he really reads them. Since his last post was from October 2008, I thought he wasn't active. I guess I was wrong.
In the past, I already thought of writing something about this 'ChinaBounder scandal'. And his comment initiated me to do so today.
So many people asked who was Chinabounder. Well, that was never my question. I always asked myself what is wrong with the Chinese netizens to react the way they did. First of all, I will always defend freedom of speech! You just can't attack freedom of speech. Period. Second, you can agree with Chinabounder or not, you can believe everything he writes or not. But what some of the 'offended' people were doing, was really crazy. I remember the Chinese professor who in his nationalistic tirade basically called for a witch hunt and public lynching of the author behind ChinaBounder. That was scary. Various blogs showed up with the purpouse of finding ChinaBounder. They analized all his words, all the information found in his posts, just to find him. One of them is this one. I imagine how a bunch of angry Chinese teenagers and twenty-somethings wander around Shanghai and try to find him. They were probably angry at every Westerner they saw. That's scary. But they made a huge mistake. ChinaBounder wrote a lot about the Chinese male and female, about the system and about the Chinese society in general. I didn't agree on everything that he wrote on his blog, but there was a lot of truth in his posts. And that's the point. The reaction of Chinese totally confirmed what he was saying. I was thinking what if a supposed Chinese expat would write about his sexcapades in Europe, let's say in Britain. Nobody would care! Nobody would translate the whole blog in English, there wouldn't be online forums and groups trying to find this guy, to unmask and expell (and possibly lynch) him. Even if he wrote how bad is our society here in Europe, if he wrote about the European male being this and that... Nobody would care. And I'm sure same would go for America. That's the difference between a dictatorship and democracy, between people who can develop their own independent critical minds and people who are used to follow orders from above, people who get their thoughts and behavior imposed by the government. So it really doesn't matter wheather ChinaBounder is David Marriot, a former British graduate or if it's a group of more authors or if it's someone else.
This online outrage taught me a lot. It made me realize that one should not take freedom of speech online (and offline) for granted. Freedom, democracy, free press, being able to protest the government should never be taken for granted. We have to be aware of that. The powerful need to know their power's boundaries. They can't be above the law, they can't step on our constitution.
And finally, my thoughts on ChinaBounder's sex stories. I found them amusing. When I read them, I read them as novels. I didn't imagine it was all true and exact as it was said. The sex was displayed pretty graphic, but it wasn't the main point. I liked how he described these women and their mindset. I liked the issues that come with a love triangle, with cheating and having a lover. That's classical and it's not unique to any culture. If you have a husband, who doesn't show interest in you and you find a lover, it's not something new. It happens in the West all the time. The difference in ChinaBounder's stories is that he combined this fact with the whole Chinese society and with the government and it's restrictions on freedom, that has it's effects on the whole society. It made me think about how their government measures sucess: in growth of economy. How about the growth of ideals, values and freedoms?
And my final thought: I'm positive that there were (and still are) many young Chinese who disagreed with the professor's call for ChinaBounder's exile and couldn't identify themselves with the whole reaction to ChinaBounder's blog. People who may have been abroad and seen the difference. People who don't fall for cheap nationalism and don't get upset by few posts on a blog. I just hope there's enough of them to change China's political system one day.

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Kamis, 30 April 2009

I love coffee 我爱咖啡

I love coffee. 我爱咖啡. I usually drink 3 cups a day. Sometimes less, sometimes even more. Depends on my mood. But I really need my daily dose of coffee. I usually have one in the morning, one after lunch and usually the last one around 6pm, sometimes even after 7. It's rarely that I can't sleep because of too much coffee, but if I drink 4 or 5 cups in one day, then it can get problematic. While I traveled to many places around the world, Ialso tried many kinds of coffee. I can't really say what's my favourite kind of coffee outside Slovenia, because I can adapt to almost all kinds. There's one thing I do expect from a cup of coffee: It has to be with milk. I don't like pure black coffee, the kind people usually drink in the USA (that reminded me of Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks, he adored black coffee as you can see on the 9th photo below).
Anyway, at home, in Slovenia, we drink coffee (see 5th photo) in the same way as people in the Balkans do, especially in Bosnia and Serbia. You boil water in a small specially designed pot to make Turkish coffee. We call it džezva (pronounced like 'jez-vah', as seen on the 6th photo). It's not a Slovenian word, we borrowed it from Bosnian, which comes from the Turkish term cezve (pronounced 'jez-veh'). Cezve is also the English term for this small device so unique to the Balkans region and in Turkey. But keep in mind, Slovenians find it offensive if someone says we're also part of the Balkans. We consider ourselves Central European, but due to the long history with the Balkans and with Central Europe, we are a kind of crossroads between Central and Southern Europe. That's why we have so many different influences on our culture. That's fairly obvious in our coffee culture. When you go to a coffee house in Slovenia (called kavarna, coffee is called kava), you'll mostly get Italian style coffee (cappuccino being the most popular) or you'll get Vienna style coffee, which comes with milk or cream (See photos 7 and 8). Well, I like all of them. But cappuccino or caffe latte can have a strong effect on the digestion, so I usually wouldn't drink them in the morning.
Anyway, back to Asia. When I traveled to Asia for the first time (Singapore being my destination), it was obvious that they have their own kind of coffee. It's thinner and less strong than ours. Malays, who are Muslims, drink at home something similar to our coffee (this is due to the Muslim influence that reaches from Southern Europe to Indonesia). Outside of Singapore's homes, people usually go out to places like Starbucks. Singapore, being a world hub, has many international coffe chains and Starbucks is the most prominent. But I never really liked it. I tried it few times but couldn't get hooked on it. It's a big cup, it doesn't have the taste that would impress me. It's therefore very expensive for what you get. So, while in Singapore, I mostly went to small places where they had kaya toast (kaya is a popular spread, based on eggs) and coffee (as in this picture). It was a very good combination for a morning breakfast. The coffee tasted really good and it was cheap, too.
After my time in Singapore, I traveled to Malaysia several times. It's Singapore's neighbouring country with many similar cultural peculiarities, most of which can be found in the drink and food culture. Malaysia has a Muslim majority, but while residing there, I was more influenced by the Chinese, which is the biggest minority and makes one third of the whole population. I stayed in Penang few months, which is the only Malaysian city that has more Chinese than Malays. It's far up north, near Thailand. Like Singapore, it's also located on an island. It's a fairly modern city, but it also has that charm of the old colonial past. I drank many types of coffee there in all kinds of coffee shops, varying from the local Chinese kopi tiams (kopi tiam is a traditional Chinese breakfast and coffee shop), to McDonald's and to various Italian style coffee shops (as seen on the 2nd photo below). Recently I've been in the Southern part of Malaysia as well, in Johor, which shares it's southern border with Singapore. I drank a lot of Old Town white coffee there (see 3rd photo below). It's a Malaysian coffee chain spread all over the country (originating in the town Ipoh). You basically always get the same atmosphere and the same taste. I really love that coffee (you can see it on the picture below). Another coffee house I frequently went to, was Dagan. Their coffee is also very tasty, I recommend to anyone. It's also a Malaysian coffee chain.
During my short stay in Hong Kong, I didn't have the time to try many kinds of coffee. Mostly I bought one at McDonald's (see 4th photo below) and it wasn't bad at all (and affordable). I drank one at Delifrance, it was good, something similar like the Delifrance in Singapore (it's a food chain, so what to expect), but it was very expensive. Hong Kong in general is expensive and I've been a bit disappointed with the food and drinks there. For me Malaysia is a food paradise. And the coffee is not bad either.
So, to round up my musings on coffee: I like most kinds of coffee and usually wherever I go, I find some coffee that I like. But nevertheless, the best coffee for me is at home, in Slovenia. And it can be the homemade Turkish style coffee or the latte in coffee shops. I like all kinds of coffee served in my native country. If you wanna try our coffee, you're welcome to visit Slovenia. It's a safe, clean and modern country with open-minded people. Yea, I love coffee. And to travel. And my homeland.





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Minggu, 26 April 2009

Swine flu, new jackpot for the pharmaceutical industry?

How can we know that the new reports on 'Swine flu' aren't just a media scare driven by the pharmaceutical industry to make money? What happened to bird flu? Where was the pandemic? Come on! 80 people died because of swine flu... and maybe soon it will be 100, 200... even if there's 1000 or more people dead all over the world due to 'Swine flu'. Should the rest of the 6+ billion people seriously be afraid? I won't jump on this train, I'll keep my cool. Besides, some of the people who got it, survived. It's not like AIDS. We should put more money fighting HIV (which really kills millions of people!) rather than create a mass fear over this 'Swine flu', that is more media driven rather than a real threat. If tomorrow something like another 9/11 or another Tsunami happens, would people still be afraid of 'Swine flu'. Would we be still talking about it?

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Jesus Christ and Hitler on Twitter!

Have you seen some people on Twitter who claim to be 'Jesus Christ' or 'God'? Well, sure, there will always be some crazy people who would do stuff like that... but more scary are the followers. Can you imagine a guy who calls himself 'God' has now over 16.000 followers? Who are these people? I'm sure at least one of them thinks that 'Good tweets from heaven'. That's crazy. 'Jesus Christ' has only 4900 followers.
Then there's so many Hitlers. You just write Hitler under 'find people' and you get all kinds of crazy Hitlers. Should Twitter do something about that? It's open for debate. What will happen to Twitter next? Unfortunately all these things get regulated and restricted sooner or later, because money starts playing a huge role. They start advertizing, adding new gadgets - and then it gets boring. It loses the simplicity and charme it had in the beginning. Twitter, where are you going?

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Selasa, 21 April 2009

Jackie Chan disappointed me, again.

Jackie Chan's recent remarks "I'm not sure if it's good to have freedom or not, I'm really confused now. If you're too free, you're like the way Hong Kong is now. It's very chaotic. Taiwan is also chaotic"..."I'm gradually beginning to feel that we Chinese need to be controlled. If we're not being controlled, we'll just do what we want" sparked an uproar in Hong Kong and Taiwan. And now his spokesman tried to fix the damage by saying people meanspiritedly misinterpreted Chan's words. He added that he was merely talking about the film industry, not Chinese people as a whole. But an AP reporter confirmed, Chan was talking about China the country and not the film industry. Why would uncensored films (if that's what he says he was discussing) make Hong Kong and Taiwan chaotic? It just doesn't make sense. He clearly talked about the free Chinese societies in Hong Kong and Taiwan. I'd just wish he'd admit he was wrong and say something critical of China. Only then he can avert further damage to his image in the world.

[Photo: Source]

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Minggu, 05 April 2009

Violent protesters are the left's disgrace

I just have to say, I don't understand those violent leftist protesters. I consider myself left and liberal, but I just can't get what's their objective. Why burn down some shops? It's just causing damage, but you don't change anything. You make things worse, because you give the right-wingers something they can use for political leverage. They will say nazis are on the right and same is on the left - the anarchists. It is not the same. Anarchism supposed to be a philosophy striving for the good of all people, while fascism and racism are very exclusive, they cater only too a bunch of chosen people while they discriminate others. While nowadays you see nazis in suits trying to infiltrate society from within, are the anarchists always the ones who come to peaceful demonstrations and cause violence. They are a bunch of goons with no real purpouse. Anarchy can never work! Violence never brought any good to the society. We strive for peace, freedom and harmony. If you wanna change society, be realistic and try to change it from the inside. I just hope this won't go too far. Yes, I can understand Burmese or Tibetan monks using violence, but I can't understand western anarchists. We are not surpressed here. It's far from a perfect society, but you do have the change to change it. And many did. The 1968 students protested for equality. And now USA has a black president, a woman almost became US president and we have a female German chancellor... The world did change and it will change even more. So please: Be less violent if you have the chance to bring change peacefully.

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Sabtu, 04 April 2009

Dream job

I saw on German TV this guy who checks with his hand if I a cow is pregnant. He goes inside her (eew, I don't even want to pronounce that, just look at the photo) with almost the whole arm disappearing inside and then probably feeling with his fingers and figuring out if she's pregnant. When he pulls out his arm, the glove is all warm, slimy and stinky, eeew... I wonder how his wife feels, when he comes home, tells her about his day at work, like how many cows he entered - and then he wants to have sex with her.

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Minggu, 29 Maret 2009

A new beginning

Now I need to start over with my life! Some changes have occured in my life, mostly regarding my family. I'm now back home and I need to start moving. I know it's hard for me with this sickenning allergy and it will get tougher. But I have to be strong. I need to get back on track. It's a new beginning for me. I won't talk about what are my plans. I need to keep them inside me and just achieve my goals. Writing about it won't help. Sometimes words have a huge impact, but in this case words are nothing. Actions must follow. So let's get to work. Daydreaming is over!

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Minggu, 15 Maret 2009

I hate him!

I hate my uncle! After my grandpa's death he's been nothing but a menace. He said he won't make problems before the inheritance trial. He said he will accept that my mum gets the house. Today, 3 days before the trial, he suddenly wanted half of the house. When my mum explained to him that that's impossible for her, he wanted a room. And that would be my room. That's crazy! My mum lived almost her whole life in this house and me and my sisters, we all grew up here. It was grandpa's house, he built it and he stuck to it until his death. We never spoke about who will get it, but we were all confident that my mum will get it. He didn't like my uncle. If he would have been written a will (which he unfortunately didn't), he'd surely give it to my mum. But his death was so unexpected and sadly, these matters were impossible to discuss with him. So now here we are... A house and land, a small car and few ten thousand euros... My uncle will get the most money, but he wants more. Why? Why so ignorant! 20 years we couldn't decide how to live. Now there will be a replacement who will hinder us again? Why can't he just fuck off and leave us alone? Take all the stuff you wanna have and FUCK OFF. I mean it. I'm sick of all this game of breaking one's word. I never break my word. Never! If I do, I need years to recover from that. I'd feel ashamed! Shame on you, uncle! Shut up already, stop pestering us! We have 2 more days of this ordeal with you! I hope only 2 more days. Please, take the money and just leave us alone. Please let go... I'm so tired of all this... I can't anymore... it's pathetic.

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Jumat, 13 Maret 2009

I tweet!

Finally I created an account on Twitter... But so far people here don't use it so much, so I don't have any friends to follow... Hopefully that'll change soon. Let's see if Twitter is fun.

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Kamis, 12 Maret 2009

Logic gone wrong

Person 1: You invade a country based on lies and kill more than 200.000 innocent people along the way. You retire, nobody can do anything to you, you won't get sued for the war crimes you commited. You keep lying and finding new excuses about your old lies.

Person 2: You throw a shoe at a man who is responsible for the death of over 200.000 innocent people and you end up 3 years in prison. Only a shoe!

What's the logic behind this? Now go figure!

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Jumat, 23 Januari 2009

My grandpa's funeral

Today was my grandpa's funeral. I couldn't attend, since I'm in Malaysia. He's ash now. May he rest in peace and may the memory of him be kept alive for a long time. I'll try my best. Will be quite unusual to return home and see that everything's changed. But we must face the unavoidable.

Good luck, grandpa. I hope you have finally found the peace you sought all your life.

Nino

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