Best of the Decade: Fantasy Movies

Well, after several days of sleeping like I've been bitten by a tsetse fly, I'm starting to feel like myself again. If you have the nasty cold that's been going around the last few weeks, I sympathize completely and hope you feel better soon. Anyway, finally feeling better, I decided it was time to get back to my 'Best of the Decade' series before the decade actually ends (well, at least before the end of the month).

So, without further ado, Uncle P's picks for the Best Fantasy Movies of the Decade:

10. Monsters, Inc. (2001)

Pixar's only entry on this list is also one of their most delightfully silly movies. Monsterland powers itself on fear and scaring little kids is what Sully (John Goodman) and his buddy Mike (Billy Crystal) do best. That is until Sully stumbles upon the closet of a little girl too young to scare. When Boo (the name Sully gives her) crosses over, all sorts of silly nonsense ensues, including a brilliant homage to a Warner Brothers' classic:

Monsters, Inc. is sweet, scary, exciting and a pure delight.

9. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh star in director Ang Lee's Chinese fairy tale about a magical jade sword, unrequited love and flying martial arts. It set a new standard in wire-flying stunts and proved Michelle Yeoh could make us understand everything she was thinking without understanding a word she was saying. Originally written in English and translated into Mandarin, Crouching Tiger... is a visual and romantic feast. You may want to turn down the volume - or do your best to ignore the terrible English dubbing - for this gorgeous fight scene among the treetops of a bamboo forest:

8. Enchanted (2007)

Disney finally embraces its ridiculousness in this story of a an animated princess (Amy Adams in an Oscar-worthy performance) who is sent to the real world by a jealous evil queen (Susan Sarandon), where she meets the true love of her life (Patrick Dempsey). James Marsden, Idina Menzel and Timothy Spall round out the excellent supporting cast in this delightful parody with heart:

7. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban ( 2004)

I must admit that I'm not much of a Harry Potter fan. I find the books derivative and just a bit too cutsie, especially when it comes to Rowling's bad puns in naming characters and places. Still, director Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men) managed to produce a dark and scary movie with his entry in the series, elevating it from kiddie schlock to artful fantasy in the process (to be honest, this is the last film I saw in the series, as Rowling's rambling story simply couldn't hold my interest):

6. Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

In his second film based on the Darkhorse Comics character, Guillermo del Toro amps up the visual effects to the point where watching it on the big screen almost tires one's eyes out. When an ancient tribe of magical beings attempts to retake the Earth, it's up to hellboy (Ron Perlman) and company to stop them. An astonishing film to watch, which requires multiple viewings in order to take everything in:

5. The Illusionist (2006)

Writer/Director Neil Burger's stunning love story about a poor boy in love with an aristocrat is shot in sepia tones and irising transitions, giving the audience the feeling they are actually witnessing events taking place in the 19th Century. Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti, Jessica Biel and Rufus Sewell star in this lush, romantic tale that deserves more love than it gets:

 

4. Stardust (2007)

Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite modern fantasists, and his novel is beautifully translated by director Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass) in this near-perfect fairy tale starring Clare Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert DeNiro, Mark Strong and the adorable Charlie Cox. Sadly ignored at the box-office, I think Stardust was the victim of poor marketing. It deserves to be seen and loved as much as I love it:

3. The Prestige (2006)

Christopher Nolan made my favorite film of 2010 (Inception) as well as the best superhero movie, ever. So it's no surprise that his tale of rival magicians at the turn of the last century should land so high on this list. Featuring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Scarlett Johansson, Michael Caine and David Bowie, The Prestige is a story about competition, revenge, love and weird science, all told in the way only Nolan could tell it. Complex, moving and deliberately confusing (as the best magic tricks always are), The Prestige required at least two viewings before I could decide where my sympathies lied. A smart and breathtaking movie, The Prestige is another under-appreciated gem that deserves more fans:

2. Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Guillermo del Toro makes his second appearance on this list with his dark fantasy about a young girl trying to escape the horrors of both Franco's regime and her stepfather's cruelty. Another movie my dear K hated because of its depictions of man's inhumanity to man, Pan's Labyrinth is a hauntingly beautiful meditation on how far we can go to rid ourselves of both physical and psychological pain. It is also one of the few films I can remember seeing that featured a scene which raised a collective gasp from every member of the audience. A stunning masterpiece from a director at the top of his game:

1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001 - 2003)

Kiwi director Peter Jackson managed to turn J.R.R. Tolkien's supposedly 'unfilmable' epic tale and caught our collective imaginations in doing so. I hope I don't need to tell how truly amazing these films are (or attempt to summarize their collective plots). Gorgeous and exciting, TLOR's last film, 2003's The Return of the King is the only film to win every Oscar for which it was nominated (including Best Picture), and tied both Ben Hur and Titanic for most Oscars won at 11. Let's hope Jackson's 2 movie version of Tolkien's prequel The Hobbit, fares as well:

Honorable mentions:  King Kong (2005); Howl's Moving Castle: Amelie; Pirates of the Caribbean; Shrek; Big Fish.

More, anon,

Prospero

*Watch for more links in this post, soon.

P

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TV Review: "The Event"

NBC's last big fantasy series "Heroes" crashed and burned in two seasons, while languishing on for two more. ABC's last big fantasy series "Lost" ran for a strong, well-planned six seasons, culminating in a derisive, but mostly satisfying finale. Lusting after the same kind of success, NBC's latest entry in the genre is "The Event," a show they promoted ad nauseum all summer long.

"What is 'The Event?'" the promos asked, over and over again. And I must admit, my curiosity was piqued. And now that I've seen the first two episodes, I can honestly say... "Meh."

"The Event" has a likable and (mostly) attractive enough cast: Jason Ritter (son of the late John, most recently seen on "Parenthood"); Blair Underwood ("Dirty Sexy Money;" "The New Adventures of Old Christine"); Laura Innes ("E.R."); Scott Patterson ("The Gilmore Girls") and "Heroes" and "Damages" alum Zeljko Ivanek are joined by a bunch of folks you've seen a million times, including hotties Wes Ramsey and Ian Anthony Dale.

So far, the plot concerns a vast conspiracy dating back to the 1940's when a group of aliens apparently crash-landed in the Alaskan mountains, where the majority of them have since been held in a top-secret facility. Led by the mysterious Sophia (Innes), the aliens are keeping a secret which will apparently have a major impact on the world. Meanwhile, lovers Sean (Ritter) and Leila (Sarah Roemer) have been separated while on a cruise. Leila's father Michael (Patterson) is a pilot who is forced (it's a long story) to fly a plane into the Presidential Compound in Miami, where President Elias Martinez (Underwood) is about to hold a press conference revealing the presence of the ETs. The ETs magically transport the plane to the Arizona desert at the last minute. Sean, aboard the plane in an attempt to stop his future father-in-law from killing the Prez is the only survivor to escape, only to be arrested for the murder of Greg (Dale), a guy he and Leila met while on the cruise. Greg's girlfriend Vicky (Taylor Cole) is not who she presents herself to be and everyone is completely confused by what's going on. 

Two episodes in and we already have more answers than "Lost" gave us in it's first season, but the time-jumping plot already seems threadworn and annoying. I really want to like "The Event" (especially thanks to its charismatic cast) and I hope it gets better as it goes along, though I don't hold much hope for it reaching whatever conclusion the writers have in mind. An especially icky moment where an alien in CIA disguise removes a fake vein from his arm was most effective in episode 2, but I somehow want more conspiracy and less boring character background -- the scene in which Sean and Leila meet, 5 years before the events of "The Event," seemed particularly contrived and silly, especially since it had absolutely nothing to do with what is happening in the story's present timeline. Kudos, though, to the inclusion of Tony "Candyman" Todd as General Whitman in Episode 1 Let's hope the writers of "The Event" are smart enough to keep us interested throughout whatever it is they have planned for us. I really like this cast and hope they have a long-enough run to make my attention worthwhile. **1/2 (Two and a Half Stars Out of Four).

And on a side note: RIP Arthur Penn, director of Bonnie and Clyde, among other iconic works. That's 2 out of 3...

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Revenge's 2nd Anniversary Blog-A-Palooza

Today marks the 2nd Anniversary of Caliban's Revenge, and I had my sister bake me a cake just for the occasion. Mmmm-mmmm, Bedelia!

Actually, I do wish my sister would make me a zombie cake. She hasn't done one, as far as know, but she's getting pretty good and with the right design, I'd bet she do a kick-ass job, too. And since this is the 2nd time I've mentioned zombie cakes and how great I think she'd be at making them, I hope she gets the hint and has a zombie-riffic surprise waiting for m ethe next time I come to visit.

Anyway, since this the Official Anniversary of the blog, I thought it would be fun to revisit and update the very first post I ever wrote, long before I learned how to embed videos, add pictures and create hyperlinks. You can revisit the original, primitive post here, if you want to compare. I'm going last to first, this time and I've beefed up the commentary quite a bit, in addition to adding as much video as possible and links to the original films' posters and stills. My writing style has also changed quite a bit in the last two years, as I have become more comfortable revealing more about myself with my readers.

Of course, if it weren't for Caliban's Revenge, I never would have 'met' the fabulous Stephen Rader; the free-spirited Post Apocalyptic Bohemian or the adorable (and currently CBF*-afflicted) Sean at Just a Jeep Guy, all of whom were among my first followers and all of whom I have come to think of as friends. The Fates only know what would happen if we all got together in the flesh at the same piano bar -- some sort of rainbow-leather-unicorn-spandex-bearsplosion, probably. Or a brand-new version of "The Golden Girls." I'd have to be Dorothy, I guess.

*Carol Brady Flip, poor thing. BTW - Who the hell even imagined that Florence Effing Henderson created the mullet? Damn you and your Wesson oil, woman!

I know I complain about sequels and remakes all the time, but there are some movies that deserve a second (or third) version for modern audiences. And with that in mind, here are:

Ten Fantasy/Horror/Sci-Fi Movies that Should be Remade.

10. Logan's Run - 1976.

Based on the novel co-authored by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson, Logan's Run is a dystopian tale about a hedonistic 23rd Century society which values youth and beauty above all else. At birth, each citizen is given a palm implant which turns red upon it's wearer's 30th birthday (21st, in the book), whereupon they are to report to something called 'Carousel' for Re-birthing. Those who try to escape Carousel are called Runners and the special police assigned to catch them are called Sandmen. Logan is a Sandman who falls in love and becomes a Runner. The movie starred Michael York; Jenny Agutter; Richard Jordan; Farrah Fawcett and Peter Ustinov. It won an Academy Award for its by-now-not-so-special effects, but was hardly the definitive version of the novel. Lots of attractive, scantily-clad people don't hurt.

How to Fix It:
Go back to the source material. Nolan and Johnson haven't exactly written a masterpiece, but the book is so much more compelling that the screenplay by David Goodman. Hire David Goyer for the re-write.

Who Should Star:
Zac Efron as Logan; Dakota Fanning as Jessica; Taylor Lautner as Francis; a sober Lindsay Lohan as Holly and Robin Williams as The Old Man.

Directed By:
Stephen Spielberg. No one handles thoughtful Sci-Fi like he does. If he keeps the CGI to a minimum and approaches it from it's most human level, it could be one his many masterpieces.

Remake Prognosis:
This property has been kicking around for almost 40 years. I'll believe it when I see it.

9. The Hobbit - 1977

This Rankin-Bass adaptation of Tokien's LOTR prequel featured a premiere cast of voice artists (including the astonishing performance artist Brother Theodore as Gollum). Of course, we all know that Mexican auteur Guillermo del Toro has moved on as director of the Peter Jackson produced live-action version and ridiculous rumors abound on the Net about where the project is headed.

How to Fix It:
Jackson and his team have already been at work on a screenplay. In order to make it stylistically consistent with Jackson's trilogy, the obvious thing for him to do is direct it himself.

Who Should Star:
Obviously Ian McKellen, Andy Sirkus and Cate Blanchett should reprise their roles, though I would probably cast a complete unknown as Bilbo.

Remake Prognosis:
Fair to Middling.

8. The Haunting - 1963

I know - blasphemy, right? Well, nothing could be more blasphemous to Robert Wise's brilliant and terrifying adaptation of Shirley Jackson's "The Haunting of Hill House" than Jan DeBont's beyond-atrocious 1999 remake. Julie Harris, Russ Tamblyn and Claire Bloom lead the cast of Wise's pants-poopingly scary movie, while Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta Jones and Lily Taylor head up the ridiculous remake.

How to Fix It:
Again, it boils down to the source. Jackson is one of maybe four authors who have actually managed to keep me awake at night. How hard can it be?

Who Should Star:
Toni Collette as Eleanor; Scarlett Johanssen as Theo; Justin Long as Luke and George Clooney as Dr. Markway.

Who Should Direct:
This is the perfect project for a post-Spider-Man Sam Raimi.

Remake Prognosis:
Unlikely

7. The Exorcist - 1973

William Friedkin's masterpiece has been called the "Scariest Movie of All Time," by more than one critic, blogger or movie fan. I have to disagree. If you are a Christian (and in particular a Catholic), I can understand how this movie may have affected you. But by the time I saw it (six years after its original release), I had pretty much concluded that the Devil was bullcrap and I found myself oddly unaffected. I did attend a screening of the 25th Anniversary Edition, which included the infamous "spider-walk" sequence, though I had much the same reaction. I think it was the obviously fake head-spin that did me in.

How To Fix It:
Replace Dick Smith's then state-of-the-art physical makeup effects with limited, quality CGI.

Who Should Star:
Chloe Moretz as Regan; Sandra Bullock as her mother, Chris; Jayma Mays as Sharon; Patrick Stewart as Father Merrin and Skeet Ulrich as Father Karras.

Who Should Direct:
Ridley Scott.

Remake Prognosis:
Highly Unlikely

6. Sisters - 1973

This early Brian DePalma film involves a pair of once-conjoined twins, one of whom is homicidal. A pre-Superman Margot Kidder stars in DePalma's first, low-budget attempt at an Hitchcockian thriller.

How To Fix It:
A real budget would help. And a script from someone like Christopher McQuarrie wouldn't hurt.

Who Should Star:
As Danielle and Dominique, Anne Hathaway could finally break away from the good girl roles that have defined her career so far.

Who Should Direct:
This is the perfect opportunity for Adrian Lynne to make a comeback.

Remake Prognosis:
Fairly Unlikely

5. Fahrenheit 451 - 1966

Director Frank Darabont continues to list this film among his upcoming projects, though there as been little progress on the project in several years. The original adaptation of Ray Bradbury's dystopian novel, directed by French auteur Francois Truffaut is a sterile, joyless film which somehow misses the point (and homespun appeal) of Bradbury's celebration of literature.

How To Fix It:
For the third time in this post, I suggest a return to the source. This future may be dystopian, but Bradbury's style is what makes the story so compelling.

Who Should Star:
Jude Law as Fireman Montag and Francis O'Connor as Clarisse/Linda.

Who Should Direct:
If Darabont never gets to do it, then Darren Aronofsky should be able to handle this subtly dense material.

Remake Prognosis:
It all depends on Darabont, though I suspect this one is likely a go, soon.

4. The Shining - 1980 & 1997

Neither Stanley Kubrick's 1980 adaptation nor Mick Garris' 1997 TV version fully capture the sheer terror of Stephen King's novel about a haunted hotel in Colorado and the family drawn into it's evil. While making a fine film, Kubrick's version is miles away from what King wrote, and while Farris' TV version is closer to the source, it still lacks the sense of dread King manages to build in the novel.

How To Fix It:
Once again, I have to go with the source. King is among those few who keep me awake, and "The Shining" is one of the first novels to do that to me. A Darabont-scripted adaption would rock the house.

Who Should Star:
Josh Brolin as Jack, Jennifer Garner as Wendy, Johnny Knoxville as Floyd and an unknown adorable moppet as Danny.

Who Should Direct:
Darabont's track-record with King's material is without par.

Remake Prognosis:
Unlikely

3. Excalibur - 1981

John Boorman's take on the Arthurian legend is a gorgeous (if languid) version of "The Once and Future King," starring Nigel Terry; Helen Mirren; Gabriel Byrne; Nicol Williamson; Liam Neeson; Patrick Stewart and the almost beatific Nicholas Clay, is lovely to look at, if nothing else.

How To Fix It:
How many times do I need to say it? Source, source, source.

Who Should Star:
This is a really difficult one. Rufus Sewell as Arthur (?); Jude Law as Lancelot; Jake Gyllenhall as Gawain; Gwenneth Paltrow as Guenevere and Johnny Depp as Merlin.

Who Should Direct:
Since del Toro is off The Hobbit...

Remake Prognosis:
Not after the epic fail that was Robin Hood.

2. Ghost Story - 1981

Author Peter Straub's brilliantly layered novel of ancient evil was given short shrift in the 1981 movie which explored only one aspect of the novel's complex plot. The ancient cast of venerables still held some level of relevance in 1981 and included Fred Astaire; Melvyn Douglas; Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. and John Houseman. Almost-was Craig Wasson was the young hero, while future Borg Queen and genre fave Alice Krige marked her feature debut. Larry Cohen's screenplay lacks the depth and intensity of Straub's novel, while John Irvin's direction is workman-like, at best.

How to Fix It:
Um... hello? Have you been reading this post? Peter Straub is the author and/or co-author of four of my all-time favorite novels (we'll save those** for another post) and "Ghost Story" proved to be one of the most complex and original horror novels I had ever read.

Who Should Star:
Robert Redford; Clint Eastwood; Hal Holbrook; James Garner; Dominick West and Cate Blanchett.

Who Should Direct:
Calling Mr. Fincher. Mr. David Fincher? I have a suggestion for a David Fincher...

Remake Prognosis:
As if...


1. Something Wicked This Way Comes - 1983

A very special English teacher by the name of Jack Fogarty introduced me the works of Arthur Conan Doyle; Agatha Christie and Ray Bradbury when I was 13 or so, just about the age of Bradbury's protagonist in the novel. Having grown up attending the NJ State Fair and spending day trips on the boardwalk at Seaside Heights, my affinity for carnivals was set in place as firmly as my father's love of classic horror movies. When I read the book (the very first I was able to dissect, academically), I pictured myself as young Will, fighting against forces he can't possibly understand with only the power of his father's love to protect him. Disney's disappointing film version stars Jason Robards, Jonathan Price, Diane Ladd, Royal Dano and Pam Greer and (much like Ghost Story), barely grazes the surface of Bradbury's novel.

How to Fix It:
Nope. Not gonna say it again.

Who Should Star:
Kelsey Grammer as Will's Dad; Alan Rickman as Mr. Dark; Jim Carrey as Tom Fury; Diane Lane as Mrs. Nightshade; Beyonce as the Dust Witch and two young unknowns as Will and Jim.

Who Should Direct:
Guillermo del Toro would have a field day with this material.

Remake Prognosis:
I heard some early rumblings about a remake a few years back, but Disney has been pretty quiet on the subject. Maybe if the Tron sequel is a hit...

So, what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Did I miss something you'd like to see redone? Over the next few days, I'll be revisiting several old posts as part of the Anniversary Celebration. Check them out and let me know what you think. You know I love hearing from you.

More, anon.
Prospero

** 4 of my 10 favorite novels: Ghost Story; Shadowland; Floating Dragon; The Talisman

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The Ariel Awards

Before I start tonight's post, I just wanted to let everyone know that Mom was released from the hospital this afternoon and should be fine, as long she eats when she's supposed to. A nutritionist is scheduled to give her a weekly meal plan and you can make sure I'll be hounding her. Thanks again to everyone to expressed their concerns and sent their good wishes both here and on Facebook. You guys are the best!

Anyway - on with tonight's post.

With the Academy Awards just two weeks away, I thought it was time Uncle P started his own movie awards. While no one is likely to pick them up in person, and that statue of Ariel (the "tricksey spirit" from The Tempest, NOT the Disney cartoon mermaid) is far too big to carry in real-life, its still fun to pretend. And isn't that what the movies are all about, anyway?

So without further ado (or rather with Much Ado About Nothing), here are the winners of The First Annual Caliban's Revenge Ariel Awards:

Best Digital Performance

The Nominees:

Billy Crudup in Watchmen
Zoe Saldana in Avatar
Jason Cope in District 9
Jim Carrey in A Christmas Carol

And the Ariel goes to:

Jason Cope in District 9. While he also played a human character, Cope stood in for almost every "Prawn" in the movie, helping to make ugly, insectoid aliens sympathetic creatures who we came to came more about than most of the humans in the picture.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Jordan Ladd in Grace
Alison Lohman in Drag Me to Hell
Lorna Raver in Drag Me to Hell
Isabelle Fuhrman in Orphan
Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body

And the Ariel goes to:

Jordan Ladd in Grace. As the obsessive mother who wills her dead baby back to life, only to discover little Grace has become a vampire, Ladd gives the kind of performance most actresses would kill for. Intense and completely believable, Ladd's Madelaine is a woman trying to hold on to her sanity amidst insane circumstances.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Adam Brody in Jennifer's Body
Justin Long in Drag Me to Hell
Woody Harrelson in Zombieland
James Marsden in The Box
Micah Sloat in Paranormal Activity

And the Ariel goes to:

Justin Long in Drag Me to Hell. Long started his film career in the underrated Jeepers Creepers, but is probably best known at the Mac in Apple's Mac vs. PC commercials. He was also the nerdy computer geek in Live Free or Die Hard. But just take a look at his face in the last shot of Drag Me... and you'll know just how good an actor he can be.

Best Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Drag Me to Hell
Trick 'r Treat
Grace
Zombieland
Orphan

And the Ariel goes to:

Trick 'r Treat. This was a close call, and Drag Me to Hell almost won, but Trick 'r Treat was just so much more fun... Officially released in 2008, Michael Dougherty's Halloween anthology didn't see wide distribution until this year's DVD release. Funny, smart, original and actually scary, Trick 'r Treat is the kind of movie I hope to write, someday.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

Zachary Quinto in Star Trek
Karl Urban in Star Trek
Sharlto Copely in District 9
Sam Rockwell in Moon
Jackie Earle Haley in Watchmen

And the Ariel goes to:

It's a tie! Jackie Earle Haley in Watchmen and Sharlto Copely in District 9. Former child star Haley is brilliant as the dysfunctional superhero Rorschach in Zack Snyder's adaptation of the supposedly "unfilmable" graphic novel, while Copely makes a stunning acting debut as the dorky cubicle nerd who suddenly finds himself the victim of circumstances beyond his control in Neill Blomkamp's brilliant feature debut. Two performances worth seeing again.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

Zoe Saldana in Star Trek
Sigourney Weaver in Avatar
Rose Byrne in Knowing
Patricia Clarkson in Phoebe in Wonderland
Carla Cugino in Watchmen

And the Ariel goes to:

Zoe Saldana in Star Trek. As Communications Officer Nyota Uhoru, Saldana is both smart and sexy, imbuing the role with a sassyness Nichelle Nichols never could have imagined.

Best Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

District 9
Watchmen
Star Trek
Surrogates
Moon

And the Ariel goes to:

Moon. Duncan Jones' debut film harkens back to the great Sci-Fi of the early 70's, proving that Science Fiction doesn't have to be about explosions, lasers and robots to be both stunning and effective. Sam Rockwell's briliant performance combined with Nathan Parker's smart screenplay make for a powerful, quiet film about what it means to be human in an age when humanity has come to mean less than it should.

Best Director of a Horror, Fantasy and/or Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

J.J. Abrams for Star Trek
Sam Raimi for Drag Me to Hell
Michael Dougherty for Trick 'r Treat
Neill Blomkamp for District 9
Duncan Jones for Moon

And the Ariel goes to:

J.J. Abrams for Star Trek. Making a new version (or "reboot") of a classic is never an easy task, but Abrams film manages to be both original and faithful to its source material - something both fans and critics were ready to rip apart, but were unable to do so. The second most fun I had at the movies this year, Star Trek is undoubtedly the start of a franchise which I look forward to seeing more of.

Finally, the Moon Calf Award - The Worst Horror, Sci-Fi and/or Fantasy Movie of the Year:

The Nominees:

The Unborn
Avatar
Paranormal Activity
The Final Destination
Terminator: Salvation
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Game
Push
Knowing
Tooth Fairy
Aliens in the Attic
2012
X-Men Origins - Wolverine

And the Moon Calf goes to:

Paranormal Activity. What a close call -- there were so many bad genre films to choose from this year. But the overrated and over-hyped Paranormal Activity was by far the worst of the bunch. Stupid, derivative, unscary and downright boring, Paranormal Activity is possibly one of the worst horror movies ever made. An amazingly successful viral campaign made this film millions, but real horror fans found it to be silly and excessive, without any truly scary moments.



I'm looking forward to what 2010 will bring us, though from what I've seen so far this year, I am doubtful things will get better.

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Next Three Months

2009 may have only one day left, but there are plenty of movies to look forward to in 2010, including Alice in Wonderland; Iron Man 2; Prince of Persia; Toy Story 3; Despicable Me; Tron Legacy and The Green Hornet. Of course there plenty of awful-looking films coming our way, as well: Tooth Fairy; The Last Airbender; Furry Vengeance and quite possibly the most unnecessary remake ever, Red Dawn.

This post, however, is about the movies I most want to see in the first quarter of the coming New Year. And of course, since this is Uncle Prospero''s list of movies to see, they're all genre pictures. In order of scheduled* release, they are:

Daybreakers:

In the near future, vampires have taken over the world and driven their food source to near-extinction and the race is on to discover an artificial blood substitute. Sam Neill, Willem Dafoe and the reportedly smelly Ethan Hawke star.

The Book of Eli:

Denzel Washington stars in this post-apocalyptic tale about a man who must traverse a hostile country to deliver a book that very may well save humanity. Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis and Jennifer Beals co-star in this Hughes Brothers film.

Legion:

Keeping the Covenant of the Rainbow, God sends an army of angels to wipe out Humanity. Paul Bettany is the Archangel Michael who decides Humanity is worth saving. Bettany is joined by Dennis Quaid, Kevin Durand, Kate Walsh and Doug Jones in the first major film directed by SFX guy Scott Stewart (trailer language may be NSFW).

Poor Jon Tenny. The sexy "Closer" (the best drama on TV, for my money) co-star barely gets three words out before getting his throat ripped out.

Dread:

Clive Barker's tale about college students conducting an experiment in fear. From Anthony DiBlasi, director of The Midnight Meat Train and The Book of Blood.

The Wolfman:

The much-delayed next entry in the series of Universal Monsters re-boot, The Wolf Man features an all-star cast which includes Benicio Del Toro; Emily Blunt; Anthony Hopkins; Hugo Weaving and Geraldine Chaplin in a re-telling of the classic tale, directed by Joe Johnston.

Shutter Island:

My least favorite actor (Leonardo DiCaprio) stars in Martin Scorcese's horror movie about a mysterious insane asylum on an isolated island and the horrible things taking place there. Based on the novel by Dennis Lehane ("Mystic River;" "Gone Baby, Gone."), this film's cast is a who's who of Hollywood heavyweights including Mark Ruffalo; Ben Kingsley; Emily Mortimer; Max Von Sydow; Patricia Clarkson and Jackie Earle Hailey. I think I'll put up with creepy DiCaprio for his one.

The Crazies:

A remake of the George Romero film about a small town under siege by folks driven insane by an accidental chemical spill. Yummy Timothy Oliphant and Silent Hill's Radha Mitchell star.

Season of the Witch:

Okay, I'm the first to admit that Nicholas Cage often spells disaster for a genre film, but this one really has me intrigued. Ron Perlman and Christopher Lee co-star in this story of medieval knights who must escort an evil witch to a remote Abby in order to destroy her.

Clash of the Titans:

Ray Harryhausen is a cinematic legend, whose last film may as well have been called "Clash of the Trite Ones." Sam Worthington (most recently seen in Avatar) is Perseus in this remake that might actually do the Greek hero justice. Thankfully, there's no robotic owl in this one (or at least, I think there isn't).

Whew! I'm exhausted. So what movies are you looking forward to seeing in the next three months? You know I love your comments.

*Studio schedules are subject to change according to the whims of the moronic CPA's who now run Hollywood.

More, anon.
Prospero

PS - Watch for Caliban's Revenge's new layout, coming soon...

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Top 10 Fantasy Movies of the Decade

Rounding out the genre troika is my list of the Top 10 Fantasy Movies of the Decade. You'll note there are quite a few Superhero movies on this list. Most genre-specific lists include Superheroes in Sci-Fi, but I think they usually include more fantasy elements than science; near-perfect men and women who do extraordinary things for those less perfect than themselves. And yes, Superman may well be from outer space, but Thor is right out of Norse mythology.

"Fantasy" as a label has been used as a catch-all for Horror and Sci-Fi, but when you think about it, isn't all fiction by definition Fantasy?

For the purposes of this post, Fantasy is defined as having fantastical elements, including, but not limited to, mythological creatures, beings and entities or those who through fantastical circumstances find themselves imbued with fantastical properties and/or abilities. So, without further ado, my picks for The Top 10 Fantasy Movies of the Decade:

10. MirrorMask

Neil Gaiman's traditional 'quest' fantasy about a teenage girl who must find a fabled Mirror Mask to end a conflict and heal her mother, has been described by some as The Wizard of Oz Goes to Cirque du Soleil. Canadian illustrator Dave McKean directs for Jim Henson Productions, creating a rich and gorgeous world where anything can and does happen. Simply magical.

9. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Ang Lee's Chinese fairy tale about the search for a stolen sword and the abduction of a young noblewoman introduced Western audiences to wire-work and cemented Lee as one of the best filmmakers in either hemisphere. Luscious, exciting and enigmatic, it features a terrific performances from Chow Yun Fat and the amazing Michelle Yeoh, who says more with here eyes than pages of dialog could ever convey. Add a gorgeous score from Tan Dun and you have a unique film experience that's been copied, but never quite replicated.

8. The Prestige

The first of two Christopher Nolan films on this list, The Prestige is a story about two rival magician's and the lengths which one will go to take revenge on the other for a perceived wrong, and fine line between science and magic. Starring Hugh Jackman; Christian Bale, Michael Caine; Scarlett Johansson; Andy Serkis and David Bowie, The Prestige is a movie that requires more than one viewing to understand all of its complexities. A truly amazing film.

7. Iron Man

Robert Downey Jr. completes his return from Hollywood hell in Jon Favreau's brilliant adaptation of the Marvel comic book about weapons manufacturer Tony Stark who, after being kidnapped and forced to build a weapon for the enemy, creates a flying suit that he uses to enforce peace. A fun, thrilling and dazzling Superhero movie unlike most in the genre, Iron Man is also one of the genre's best. Downey is joined by Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges and an unrecognizably hot Peter (A Christmas Story) Billingsly in this exciting first entry in what is sure to become a 3 picture franchise.

6. Watchmen

Alan Moore's supposedly unfilmable graphic novel was brought to the screen this year by 300 director Zach Snyder, and while the end product was far from perfect, it was sure worth the wait. Billy Crudup, Mathhew Goode, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Jackie Earle Haley (in a tour de force performance) head up the cast in this story about disillusioned superheroes who must re-team to stop the world from being destroyed. Moore may have disavowed teh Hollywood machine, but his story makes for one hell of a good movie.

5. Spider-Man 2

The first sequel on my list, Sam Raimi's follow-up to Spider-Man is one of the best Superhero movies ever made. Tobey Maguire; Kirsten Dunst; James Franco; Alfred Molina; Dylan Baker and the amazing Rosemary Harris head up an exciting and intelligent movie about the toll being a Superhero takes on the human underneath the mask.

4. The Incredibles

Pixar has yet to fail us, and Brad Bird's hilarious tale about Superheroes forced into retirement takes on not only the comics' staple, but James Bond, teh fashion industry and family dynamics in one of Pixar's best entries. Featuring the voices of Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L. Jackson, Jason Lee and Elizabeth Pena, The Incredibles is a hilarious, exciting and touching movie worth seeing again and again.

3. Pan's Labyrinth

A movie that I feel is the first true Cinematic Masterpiece of the 21st Century, Guillermo del Toro's tale of a young girl living under the thumb of a sadistic step-father who is also a General in Franco's regime of terror, Pan's Labyrinth is not a sweet fairy tale for children, but rather a tale of beauty and truth triumphing over evil. And whether you choose to believe to believe that Ofelia is truly a princess from another world or a young girl who escapes into fantasy to escape the pain of the real world, there is no denying the power of del Toro's vision. A stunning acheivement.

2. The Dark Knight

How many times can Nolan's sequel to Batman Begins be praised? Not enough, for my money. The late Heath Ledger's astounding performance as The Joker is enough to make The Dark Knight the best Superhero movie ever made, but it's only part of the whole that is the amazingly dark and gritty film that The Dark Knight is. Christian Bale (despite teh ridiculous raspy voice) turns in another powerhouse performance as Bruce Wayne/Batman. Add Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal to the mix and you have a Batman movie even Tim Burton must be jealous of.

1. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

How can one separate Peter Jackson's three films? You may as well try to separate Tolkien's novels. Ambitious, extraordinary, luscious and iconic can only begin to describe these three epic films. I'll simply let the trailers speak for themselves:

Any arguments for the #1 spot? I thought not.

Honorable Mentions: Finding Nemo; King Kong; Hellboy 2; The Illusionist; Peter Pan; Shrek; Spirited Away; Tideland; Howl's Moving Castle.

On side note, Uncle P may be absent for a few nights over the next couple of weeks. I recently had a dream which has inspired a new screenplay, which demands to be written and I'll be spending some time working on that. I'll stop by now and then and will be posting my Top 10 of 2009 before the end of January, but if I don't get to say so before, I wish you all avery Happy, Safe and Healthy Holiday Season.

More, eventually.
Prospero

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Wunderkind No More?

That's a picture of director Tim Burton's wife, actress Helena Bonham-Carter, as the Red Queen in Burton's upcoming live-action version of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. Burton's films are instantly recognizable as his, even when they don't star Johnny Depp (which, lately, is never).

20 years ago, Burton was Hollywood's wunderkind; a film prodigy whose like had never been seen before. His visual style was new and unmistakable, even in his first feature film, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, starring pre-scandal Paul Reubens as man-child Pee-Wee Herman on a quest to retrieve his stolen bike. The script by Reubens and the late, great Phil Hartman, was loaded with cheesy and often hysterical jokes, punctuated by Burton's own weird sense of humor.

Take this scene for example, in which Pee-Wee and the curiously hot Judd Omen as escaped convict Mickey, drive through the desert at night:

You can't really see it in this clip, but the increasingly bizarre road signs that they pass are very obviously (and deliberately) on wheeled carts. And of course, late character actress Alice Nunn practically steals the movie with her hilarious performance as the ghostly trucker Large Marge.

Burton's next big picture was 1988's Beetlejuice, an odd comedy starring Alec Baldwin; Geena Davis; Jeffrey Jones; the always amazing Catherine O'Hara; a then-unknown Winona Ryder and Michael Keaton as the titular "bio-exorcist." Beetlejuice (a corruption of the name of the celestial body, Betelgeuse). It's here that mainstream audiences are first given a glimpse of Burton's particular style:

Then came Burton's adaptation of the classic Superhero Batman. Originally derided for the casting of Keaton in the title role, Burton's Batman went on to become both a critical and box-office success, spawning several sequels, including Burton's own Batman Returns.

I must admit a certain love for the Batman, but Joel Schumacher went on to destroy the franchise (until Christopher Nolan revived it with two amazing films, much later). Between the two Batman movies, came Burton's most personal film, Edward Scissorhands, his first collaboration with Depp and the first time I fell for Depp's huge eyes (and when I realized what a fine actor Depp actually was). Edward Scissorhands is a sweet fairy tale about theultimate outsider co-starring Ryder; Dianne Weist; Anthony Michael Hall; Kathy Baker; Alan Arkin; Conchata Farrell; O-Lan Jones and Burton's idol, the late, great Vincent Price:

Burton next wrote, designed and produced the amazing stop-motion classic The Nightmare Before Christmas, again featuring the voices of O'Hara and Reubens along with Chris Sarandon, Wiliam Hickey; Glen Page and long-time musical collaborator Danny Elfman:

Burton's follow-up my well be his best film, ever. Depp stars as "Z" grade director Edward D. Wood, Jr. in Ed Wood, a romanticized biopic about the infamously bad director. It earned co-star Martin Landau a well-deserved Oscar for his performance as the aging Bela Lugosi and fully cemented Burton's reputatin as an A-List director:

Then came the underrated, all-star Mars Attacks!, the movie that Independence Day should have been, featuring an early performance by then-unknown Jack Black:

Ed Wood was followed by Sleepy Hollow (again starring Depp) and an ill-advised re-make of Planet of the Apes, starring Mark Whalberg; Bonham-Carter; Tim Roth and genre legend David Warner. 2003 saw Burton's adaptation of Daniel Wallace's novel Big Fish with Billy Crudup; Albert Finney; Ewan McGregor; Jessica Lange and Drag Me to Hell star, Allison Lohman. The story of a son coming to grips with his dying father's tall tales, Big Fish was a critical, if not financial success. It's visuals are rather amazing and its performances even more so. Big Fish never found the audience it deserved, probably because it was just a little too weird:

Burton's follow-up? A new version of Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. While Burton's version is actually more faithful to Dahl's book, it was unfairly compared to the 1971 version starring Gene Wilder in an admittedly career-defining performance. Still , I personally prefer Burton's version starring Depp as Wonka: Freddie Highmore as Charlie: the quirky and underrated Missy Pyle and cult-icon Deep Roy as all of the Oompa-Loompas:

Burton's follow-up was another stop-motion story, Corpse Bride, which featured the voices of Depp; Bonham-Carter; Emily Watson; Tracy Ullman; Joanna Lumley; Jane Horrocks; Richard E. Grant; Christopher Lee; Michael Gough and Danny Elfman in a macabre love story:

Sadly, Burton's hit-or-miss career most recently included the dank, grisly and humorless version of Stephen Sondheim's career-defining operetta, Sweeney Todd. Mis-casting Depp as the title character, Burton turned Sondheim's masterpiece into a bloody horror movie, missing the show's point, entirely. Of course, my opinion of the movie has nothing to do with do with my own performance as Todd in what may be a definitive production directed by my friend (and probably the best theatrical director I know), Dale Simon. Burton's film? Lame:



Dreamworks didn't even trust Burton to advertise the movie as a musical. Sad. Depp's reedy tenor is all wrong for the baritone that Sondheim imagined, thought Bonham-Carter is quite brilliant as Mrs. Lovett, as are Alan Rickman as Judge Turpin and Sacha Baron Cohen as the fraudulent Italian barber, Pirelli.

So, Burton's next film is due this spring, and from everything we've seen, it's definitely a Burton film. But will it be a good one? Only time will tell. As a lover of Carroll's works (and nonsense in general) I can only hope that it will be wonderful. But given Burton's track record of late, I have my doubts. Here's the latest teaser:

So, what do you think? Is Burton still the genius he was in the late 80's and early 90's, or has he lost his touch? Enquiring minds want to know... Personally, I hope Alice is a huge hit, though I will withhold judgment until I actually see the film. Lord knows, we could have been subjected to this, if Burton had been given the go-ahead to make his veriosn of Superman.

Just a reminder, there will be no Caliban's Revenge post tomorrow. Read my ramblings instead on the Zombie Zone.

More, anon.
Prospero

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