The Ariel Awards

Before I start tonight's post, I just wanted to let everyone know that Mom was released from the hospital this afternoon and should be fine, as long she eats when she's supposed to. A nutritionist is scheduled to give her a weekly meal plan and you can make sure I'll be hounding her. Thanks again to everyone to expressed their concerns and sent their good wishes both here and on Facebook. You guys are the best!

Anyway - on with tonight's post.

With the Academy Awards just two weeks away, I thought it was time Uncle P started his own movie awards. While no one is likely to pick them up in person, and that statue of Ariel (the "tricksey spirit" from The Tempest, NOT the Disney cartoon mermaid) is far too big to carry in real-life, its still fun to pretend. And isn't that what the movies are all about, anyway?

So without further ado (or rather with Much Ado About Nothing), here are the winners of The First Annual Caliban's Revenge Ariel Awards:

Best Digital Performance

The Nominees:

Billy Crudup in Watchmen
Zoe Saldana in Avatar
Jason Cope in District 9
Jim Carrey in A Christmas Carol

And the Ariel goes to:

Jason Cope in District 9. While he also played a human character, Cope stood in for almost every "Prawn" in the movie, helping to make ugly, insectoid aliens sympathetic creatures who we came to came more about than most of the humans in the picture.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Jordan Ladd in Grace
Alison Lohman in Drag Me to Hell
Lorna Raver in Drag Me to Hell
Isabelle Fuhrman in Orphan
Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body

And the Ariel goes to:

Jordan Ladd in Grace. As the obsessive mother who wills her dead baby back to life, only to discover little Grace has become a vampire, Ladd gives the kind of performance most actresses would kill for. Intense and completely believable, Ladd's Madelaine is a woman trying to hold on to her sanity amidst insane circumstances.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Adam Brody in Jennifer's Body
Justin Long in Drag Me to Hell
Woody Harrelson in Zombieland
James Marsden in The Box
Micah Sloat in Paranormal Activity

And the Ariel goes to:

Justin Long in Drag Me to Hell. Long started his film career in the underrated Jeepers Creepers, but is probably best known at the Mac in Apple's Mac vs. PC commercials. He was also the nerdy computer geek in Live Free or Die Hard. But just take a look at his face in the last shot of Drag Me... and you'll know just how good an actor he can be.

Best Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Drag Me to Hell
Trick 'r Treat
Grace
Zombieland
Orphan

And the Ariel goes to:

Trick 'r Treat. This was a close call, and Drag Me to Hell almost won, but Trick 'r Treat was just so much more fun... Officially released in 2008, Michael Dougherty's Halloween anthology didn't see wide distribution until this year's DVD release. Funny, smart, original and actually scary, Trick 'r Treat is the kind of movie I hope to write, someday.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

Zachary Quinto in Star Trek
Karl Urban in Star Trek
Sharlto Copely in District 9
Sam Rockwell in Moon
Jackie Earle Haley in Watchmen

And the Ariel goes to:

It's a tie! Jackie Earle Haley in Watchmen and Sharlto Copely in District 9. Former child star Haley is brilliant as the dysfunctional superhero Rorschach in Zack Snyder's adaptation of the supposedly "unfilmable" graphic novel, while Copely makes a stunning acting debut as the dorky cubicle nerd who suddenly finds himself the victim of circumstances beyond his control in Neill Blomkamp's brilliant feature debut. Two performances worth seeing again.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

Zoe Saldana in Star Trek
Sigourney Weaver in Avatar
Rose Byrne in Knowing
Patricia Clarkson in Phoebe in Wonderland
Carla Cugino in Watchmen

And the Ariel goes to:

Zoe Saldana in Star Trek. As Communications Officer Nyota Uhoru, Saldana is both smart and sexy, imbuing the role with a sassyness Nichelle Nichols never could have imagined.

Best Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

District 9
Watchmen
Star Trek
Surrogates
Moon

And the Ariel goes to:

Moon. Duncan Jones' debut film harkens back to the great Sci-Fi of the early 70's, proving that Science Fiction doesn't have to be about explosions, lasers and robots to be both stunning and effective. Sam Rockwell's briliant performance combined with Nathan Parker's smart screenplay make for a powerful, quiet film about what it means to be human in an age when humanity has come to mean less than it should.

Best Director of a Horror, Fantasy and/or Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

J.J. Abrams for Star Trek
Sam Raimi for Drag Me to Hell
Michael Dougherty for Trick 'r Treat
Neill Blomkamp for District 9
Duncan Jones for Moon

And the Ariel goes to:

J.J. Abrams for Star Trek. Making a new version (or "reboot") of a classic is never an easy task, but Abrams film manages to be both original and faithful to its source material - something both fans and critics were ready to rip apart, but were unable to do so. The second most fun I had at the movies this year, Star Trek is undoubtedly the start of a franchise which I look forward to seeing more of.

Finally, the Moon Calf Award - The Worst Horror, Sci-Fi and/or Fantasy Movie of the Year:

The Nominees:

The Unborn
Avatar
Paranormal Activity
The Final Destination
Terminator: Salvation
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Game
Push
Knowing
Tooth Fairy
Aliens in the Attic
2012
X-Men Origins - Wolverine

And the Moon Calf goes to:

Paranormal Activity. What a close call -- there were so many bad genre films to choose from this year. But the overrated and over-hyped Paranormal Activity was by far the worst of the bunch. Stupid, derivative, unscary and downright boring, Paranormal Activity is possibly one of the worst horror movies ever made. An amazingly successful viral campaign made this film millions, but real horror fans found it to be silly and excessive, without any truly scary moments.



I'm looking forward to what 2010 will bring us, though from what I've seen so far this year, I am doubtful things will get better.

More, anon.
Prospero

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My 10 Favorite Actresses of 2009.

Yeah, right! Megan Fox one of my favorite actresses? You really thought that for just one second I'd lost my mind, didn't you? Suckers.

In all truth, she's just there for the three straight boys who read my blog (Yes, James. I am talking to you and yes, you're welcome). And to be honest, Ms. Fox did appear in the film along with another actress whose performance I will actually be discussing, if you hold your panties on and don't skip ahead (and even though you have free will, remember what happened to Mrs. Lot when she peeped... you sinner!).

This was a harder list to make than the men's, simply because I saw so few films in which women had truly great roles. And more often than not, they appeared in films which I may have liked a little less, but in which their performances were worth seeing one reason or another. In one case, I have just seen the movie, but not had a chance to review it (and probably won't other than this post). As with the actors list, lust has nothing (and I can be 100% honest here when I say it) to do with my choices. If it did, there wouldn't be an Actresses list (rimshot).

Anyway, I actually surprised myself with a couple of my own choices, so I wonder if you'll be surprised by the same ones. Okay, okay... I'm getting on with it. Here are Uncle Prospero's Favorite 10 Actresses of 2009:

10 - Emma Stone in Zombieland:

As the older of two grifting sisters trying to survive the aftermath of the Z.A., Stone has come a long way since Superbad, and may be on her way to quite successful career, as long as she doesn't make too many movies like her upcoming voice work in... sigh... Marmaduke.

9 - Lorna Raver in Drag Me To Hell:

Have you figured out by now how much I adored this movie? So much of that comes from the astounding performance of veteran TV actress Lorna Raver. The 67 year-old actress goes the distance in what must have been a physically grueling performance. Granted, she had the help of stunt people and CGI, but still. An old Gypsy hag hasn't been so scary since Maria Ouspenskaya. Mrs. Ganush is a cloudy-eyed; phlegm-hawking; gooey-dentured; claw-fingered; insect-spewing monster another actress would have balked at playing. Raver (as does the rest of Raimi's terrific cast) goes at it full-throttle and Sylvia Ganush deserves to become one the best villains in the annals of Horror.

8 - Vera Farmiga in Up In the Air:

As another corporate flyer with an itch to scratch, Farmiga's inscrutible Alex Gorman seems a perfect match for George Clooney's detached Ryan Bingham. Until he starts to fall for her. In the hands of a lesser actress, Alex may have come off as a heartless bitch but Farmiga imbues her with a clear and real sense of vulnerability, which is why we don't hate her in the end.

7 - Alison Lohman in Drag Me to Hell:

I know I talked about the physical demands on Lorna Raver in this movie, but day-um! Lohman gets the snot kicked out of her by mostly invisible forces, in a beating that Ash himself might have had a hard time recovering from. She also manages to convince us (if not her boyfriend) that evil forces are indeed intent upon doing her harm without having to stick her tongue in her cheek, but but by playing it sincerely and honestly. Christine Brown isn't going down without a fight, no matter that the lesson learned ("Doing the right thing is always the best the ting to do, especially when it comes to cloudy-eyed hags") comes at an outrageously high price.

6 - Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body:

See? I told you Megan Fox was connected, if only in that she was the title character in this movie, which actually is about Seyfried's character, "Needy." Tapping into her hidden nerd, the 24 year-old actress is the perfect example of a performer rising above the material. Diablo Cody (the less said about Juno, the better) wrote this Teen Horror Comedy about bitchy teenage girls, which was marketed to the completely wrong audience (horny teenage boys). Cody's tragically hip dialog made this movie dated ten minutes before it was released, but Seyfried shines in her transformation from mouse to avenger.

5 - Isabelle Fuhrman in Orphan:

What a creepy surprise Orphan turned out to be for me. And what a disturbing performance from a 12 year-old. And believe me, no matter how disturbing you may find the Killer Child genre of Horror, you'll be doubly disturbed by this.

4 - Anna Kendrick in Up In the Air

Kendrick's comedic turn as the icy-exteriored but fragile Ivy-Leaguer who followed a schmuck boyfriend to the middle of nowhere and ended up in a job she both hates and is unqualified to do.
And that speech on the dock...

3 - Jordan Ladd in Grace:

One of the year's more disturbing entries, which walks the line between Vampire movie and Zombie movie. As a mother so obsessed she literally wills her still-born child back to life, only to discover that baby Grace has an insatiable appetite for blood, Ladd (Cabin Fever) goes for broke and succeeds in creating an empathetic, if completely insane character.

2 - Marion Cotillard in Nine:

Honestly, the only reason to see Rob Marshall's mammoth mistake, Cotillard once again shows she deserved her Oscar and gives the kind of performance the other, better-known actresses in the movie should have given.

1 - Meryl Streep in Julie & Julia:

Yes, I finally saw it, but haven't had the chance to review it, and while Stanley Tucci, Jane Lynch and Amy Adams are all wonderful, and despite Nora Ephron's rather hackish adaptation of the book by blogger Julie Powell, Streep still turns in yet another astonishing performance as an Icon of both American Television and Cuisine. Yet another reason Streep deserves the title "Best Actress of Her Generation."

I hope that my 10 Favorite Movies of the Decade will be coming up soon. A plumbing issue in my ancient kitchen has turned Uncle Prospero's house a bit upside down... among other things going on right now...

More something, anon.
Prospero

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My 10 Favorite Actors of 2009

How's that for a promo shot of a handsome, up and coming Fantasy/Sci-Fi star ready to break into other genres? That's Karl Urban, if you aren't familiar. I love the monochromatic, poet shirted, barefoot Harlequin Romance pirate Urban's handlers are trying to sell with this image. Not that its a bad one, just cliched. Especially for someone who has appeared in two of the three best films of the past decade (Ooh! What a give-away!).

Anyway, Mr. Urban made my list this year (you'll have to skip ahead to see where or be patient and read a few more paragraphs or so -- just know that if you do skip ahead, Santa is making a mark in your naughty column; a black spot appears on the milk bottle that is your soul and Baby Jesus cries).

There may have been many better performances by men in film this year, but I didn't see those. I certainly saw many, many, many worse performances than the 10 on my list (Crap! - what does that say about Uncle Prospero's taste in film?).

The 10 gentlemen listed below may have been either a leading or supporting player, but they were the stand-outs in their respective films and deserve to be recognized as such. And please remember, lust plays no factor in these choices. If it did, You Know Who would win in every category. In any event, these were My 10 Favorite Actors of 2009:

10 - Karl Urban in Star Trek:

Wow - what a shock, eh? I bet because his picture was up there, you thought I might have placed him a little higher on the list. But honestly, I just like that picture of him. Anyway, as Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Urban practically channels the late DeForrest Kelly in a comedic tribute performance lets us know for certain that these are, indeed, the characters we all know and love.

9 - Woody Harrelson in Zombieland:

Much like his bro-mantic partner, Harrelson often takes on roles that bear strong resemblances to what we imagine Harrelson is actually like. And in Zombieland he takes full advantage of that persona, turning it another ten notches and having the time of his life. So what if he attacked a reported and later claimed that because he had just finished shooting and thought the reporter was a zombie? I still thoroughly enjoyed his performance.

8 - Zachary Quinto in Star Trek:

It was much more than Quinto's remarkable resemblance to a young Leonard Nimoy that made me love his performance so much. (Spoilers ahead; if you haven't seen the movie, skip ahead to the green "Go"). Quinto accesses Spock's human side much more readily than Nimoy ever did, and we find ourselves even more connected to the pointy-eared logistician. His affair with another crew-member and the loss of his mother are just human enough to love Spock all over again.

7 - Sharlto Copley in District 9

My friend K hated this film, but then she never does well with stories about man's inhumanity. But Copely's first performance is both hilarious and poignant. His character Wikus undergoes a physical, emotional and spiritual transformation that even the most experienced of actors would have had a difficult time pulling off. And it is for good reason I compare his performance to Jeff Goldblum's in The Fly - The character arc on the page is so strongly written, only an exceptionally talented actor would be able to pull it off believably.

He's so much cuter we're led to believe.

6 - Bill Murray in Zombieland:

Yes, I just spoiled the big secret celebrity cameo in Zombieland. Well, tough. If you don't know by now, shame on you. Playing himself, dressed as a zombie so he can wander about Hollywood unnoticed and playing a totally idiotic stoner's prank, Murray is nothing less than everything audiences have come to love about him in less than 10 minutes on screen. The scene may have been written with the late Patrick Swayze in mind (which might have been a whole different sort of hilariousness), but Murray commits himself 1000 percent.

5 - Justin Long in Drag Me to Hell:

I know, I know... But just look at his face in the films final shot. I've been fan of Long's ever since Jeeper's Creepers and his performance as the confused, non-believing but incredibly supportive boyfriend just adds to the effectiveness of Sam Raimi's terrifically fun horror movie.

4 - Jackie Earl Haley in Watchmen:

As part of an amazing comeback, Haley plays Alan Moore's victim of childhood abuse who would grow into the enigmatic superhero, Rorschach. Haley's cynical, gravel-voiced performance is the best of the film's many attributes.

Haley will next be seen as another iconic character in the re-boot of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

3 - Robert Downey, Jr. in Sherlock Holmes:

Talk about taking a role and making it your own. The movie was a most pleasant surprise, and the more I thought about it, the more I enjoyed and appreciated Downey's performance in what had all the earmarks of a cinematic disaster.

2 - George Clooney in Up In the Air:

Clooney has come quite a way since his days in Return of the Killer Tomatoes and The Facts of Life. I have said it several times now, but Clooney is very much a Cary Grant of our age.

1 - Sam Rockwell in Moon:

Rockell is consistently good, no matter what kind of role he is playing. And he's certainly no stranger to Genre Films, having appeared in The Green Mile; Galaxy Quest and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But there's his also brilliant and underrated turn as game-show producer Chuck Barris in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. But in this quiet and introspective film, Rockwell is simply astounding as an astronaut/miner who discovers an awful truth about his three year-contract. Moving, compelling and heartbreaking, Rockwell's interpretation of the character is overwhelming in its complexity and subtlety. This is the kind of performance every actor aspires to achieve.

My 10 Favorite Actresses of 2009, next.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Top 10 Movies of 2009

Yes, I know, the year has already been gone for a week. What the hell took me so long? A hundred and five distractions. Plus the fact that I knew this was going to one of those posts that takes freaking forever to write, no matter how short it is. And it won't be short, I can almost guarantee - so I won't blame you if you skip on to the list already, but you'll probably miss some pretty damned funny stuff (or not).

Anyway, 2009 was a really interesting year in movies. 3D finally made a successful run and looks like it's here to stay. And Sci-Fi had its best year since The Empire Strikes Back. We learned that even a dead protagonist can sustain a series of increasingly godawful sequels and still make money; we re-learned that James Cameron is an insane genius of hype, if nothing else; jailbait werewolves make tweenie-boppers and cougars scream and zombies still rule. We also re-learned that the Interwebs still have the power to turn $11,000 into $100M, no matter how bad your movie really is. Oh, I almost forgot. We learned Alan Moore should just stop bitching and whining about Hollywood, because everyone already knows he wrote the source material, anyway. And let's not forget the return of traditional 2D, hand-drawn animation (an art I feared lost forever).

Yes, yes... "Get on with it already, Uncle P." And so I shall. Once again, these are simply the 10 best movies I saw this year. I don't have easy access to limited release films; I don't have the time to see every every movie I would like to nor the interest in seeing a good 60% of what Hollywood thinks of as movies, these days. Agree, disagree, call me names... I don't care. I'm sitting safely in my home office, sipping a cocktail and having a smoke. So here are picks for the Top 10 Movies of 2009:

10 - Coraline:

Tim Burton produced Henry Selig's 3D Stop-Motion fantasy, based on Neil Gaiman's children's book of the same name, about a girl who discovers an alternate universe where things aren't nearly as perfect as they seem. Delightfully creepy and charmingly animated, Selig (along with Wallace and Gromit creator Nick Park) is thankfully keeping the art of Stop-Motion Animation alive in the age of digital CGI.

9 - Watchmen:

Alan Moore... blah, blah, blah... unfilmable... blah, blah, blah... Dr. Manhattan's penis (image NSFW)... blah, blah, blah. Director Zach Snyder (Dawn of the Dead) may not have made the best Superhero Movie of all time, but it certainly ranks in the Top 5. His slo-mo/stop-mo/360 style of filmmaking is perfectly suited to comic book adaptations and his attention to detail in recreated illustrator Dave Gibbons original artwork is astounding. And I, for one, didn't miss the giant squid at all. And it has one of the most amazing opening credits sequences ever put to film; alternative history at its finest.

8 - Up:

Disney/Pixar's next Oscar-winner actually is the Best Animated film of the year. This 3D CGI fantasy tells the story of an old man rediscovering his childhood sense of adventure; a lonely young boy discovering friendship; an exotic bird trying to feed her babies and a childhood hero who turns out to be something other than he appeared to be. If the first fifteen minutes don't make you cry, the last ten, will. This film went in a delightfully unexpected and often hilarious
direction, proving Pixar's writers and directors are among the few at the major studios who are still capable of original story-telling. Not since Dorothy's, has a flying house been the start of so much -- Squirrel! -- fun. Simply delightful.

7. Zombieland:

Do I really need to say why? How about just this: Woody Harrelson; Bill Murray; amusement park; hilarious; gory; evil you-know-whats; zombies. While its no Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland is a great ride. "Nut up or shut up!"

6 - Star Trek:

Current wunderkind J.J. Abrams takes over and re-invents one of Science Fiction's most beloved and revered franchises with an exciting, funny and original film which uses alternate time-line theory to re-introduce Gene Roddenberry's original characters in a fresh way, while still remaining true to them in this origins tale of Kirk, Spock, Bones, O'Hura, et al and the very first voyage of the USS Enterprise.

5 - Up In the Air:

As I said in my original review, I loved Jason Reitman's debut film Thank You for Smoking. I then loathed his follow-up, the inexplicably popular Juno (honestly, one more whiny folk song and I was going to pull a Stewie and Brian --language NSFW -- on the DVD.) But Up In the Air's hilarious script by Reitman and Sheldon Turner is the perfect vehicle for the handsome and charming George Clooney, who deserves the title "The Cary Grant of His Generation.:

4 - Trick 'r Treat:

Yes, I know this movie was made in 2008. Yes, I know it was screened at festivals all over the place and thousands of people saw it before I did. Most of the world, including Uncle P, finally got to see Michael Dougherty's thoroughly original and enjoyable Horror anthology when it was released on DVD this past October. Gory, funny, a little scary and featuring loads of great performances from some the most underrated film actors working today, Trick 'r Treat is destined to take its place among the holiday's classics. I've posted this trailer several times, but it's worth posting again because it's almost as much fun as the movie, itself.

3 - District 9:

The best thing to come out of South Africa since Charlize Theron, Neil Blomkamp's relatively low-budget Science Fiction movie pays homage to the classics, while still generating an original and fascinating film. Combining first-person documentary-style filmmaking with traditional narrative, Blomkamp's essay on man's inhumanity is exciting, horrifying and breathtaking all at once. Another fine example of Alternate History Sci-Fi.

2 - Drag Me to Hell:

How much do I love Sam Raimi's triumphant return to the genre that made him famous? More than I can tell you. As you may well know, I saw this with many people I love, all of whom loved it nearly as much as I did. Relentless; gross; creepy and hilarious without a glimpse of nudity or a single four-letter word worse than 'damn,' Raimi's film proves that effective horror movies don't need mindless teenagers getting hacked to death by a masked killer to be truly effective and scary. Drag Me to Hell is the best Horror movie in the last 20 years. Sorry for the poor quality of the below video's sound, but I thought Raimi's comments were worth hearing.

1 - Moon:

Duncan Jones' brilliant feature debut is a return to smart, quiet Science Fiction. Eschewing elaborate CGI effects; explosions; alien monsters and deep-voiced villains, Jones relies on story and character; the two of the Three Commandments of a good film. Add Sam Rockwell's astounding performance(s), and you have Cinema's Holy Trinity. Like Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, Duncan's Moon is truly smart Sci-Fi at its best. If Rockwell isn't nominated for at least one major acting award, yours truly will be one very unhappy film fan.

There you have it. I hope you clicked the links and watched the videos. I tried my best to link to things other than the usual, and include clips I haven't used (or even seen) before, even though I may have written about most of these movies, before. I also tried to say at least one or two new things about films I've talked about at least once before. And, as always, I would love to know your thoughts. What was/were your favorite(s) of 2009?

More, anon.
Prospero

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Review: "Sherlock Holmes"

In Middle School, I had a wonderful and brilliant English teacher named Jack Fogarty. Jack taught me how to dissect a novel, interpret symbolism and recognize foreshadowing. He also introduced me to Arthur Conan Doyle's most well-known and most-loved creation, Sherlock Holmes. Hell, it was under his direction that I got my first leading role as an actor playing - you guessed it - Sherlock Holmes. I even became a member of The Baker Street Irregulars.

So you can imagine my dubiousness upon hearing the news that British action director (and former husband of Madonna) Guy Ritchie (Rocknrolla) was going to make a new Sherlock Holmes film starring Robert Downey, Jr. of all people. Not to disparage Downey - he's a brilliant actor (Chaplin, anyone?). But I just couldn't see him as the lanky, heroin-addicted genius. And handsome Jude Law as Dr. Watson? Had the whole world gone mad?

I am happy to say that, going in with very lowered expectations, Ritchie, Downey, Law and company deliver a fun, action-packed and surprisingly reverent movie loaded with humor, romance, bro-mance and thrills.

The story opens with Holmes, Watson and Inspector Lestrad (Eddie Marsand) in pursuit of the evil Lord Blackwood (Ritchie regular, Mark Strong), who is planning to take over the world using ancient mysticism and human sacrifice. After Blackwood is apprehended and executed, he apparently rises from the grave to continue his infernal plan. Holmes soon encounters "the only woman he ever cared about," nefarious American criminal Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams), one of the few people to ever outsmart him. She has been hired by a mysterious man to discover the whereabouts of a missing midget who later turns up dead, but who has played an integral part in Blackwood's evil plan.

Incorporating elements of the Doyle stories previously ignored by other Holmes movie directors, Ritchie has made a surprisingly good film. Holmes finally gets to exhibit his prowess in boxing and martial arts, as well his penchant for disguise, while maintaining his genius for observation and scientific curiosity. Shot in sepia tones and infusing a bit of Steampunk sensibility into the Victorian London setting, Ritchie's film captures both the squalor and the promise of Industrial Revolution era London in the early 1900's.

Downey continues to prove he is an acting force to be reckoned with, creating a Holmes that is closer to Doyle's creation than any actor who came before. Gone are the deerstalker cap and Meerschaum pipe (affectations created for the 1940's films starring Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce), replaced by a simple clay pipe and a series of hats Holmes literally steals along the way. Law's Watson is similarly revived; no longer a bumbling side-kick, but a powerful ally and non-blood brother who is probably the only person who truly understands Holmes. Strong is fine as the dashingly handsome (if snaggle-toothed) villain. Fairing not-so-well is McAdams, in a role that could have been played by almost any plucky American actress. The rest of the supporting cast are very good, particularly Marsan as Scotland Yard Inspector Lestrade.

Of course, this being a Guy Ritchie film, there are plenty or fights, explosions and big CGI effects, but none of that distracts from the plot. And needless to say, the mysterious stranger is obviously (even for those without Holmes' deductive powers) Professor Moriarity, setting up a sequel quite neatly. And Uncle Prospero will be first in line to see it. I saw Sherlock Holmes with my Dear D, who had a less enthusiastic response, but still said he enjoyed it. Of course, the movie was just icing on our delayed holiday gift exchange. Still, I can't help but recommend this movie, which surpassed my expectations on almost every level. I think Jack Fogarty would agree. *** (Three Out of Four Stars).

More, anon.
Prospero

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Three I Missed

Sadly, I never get to see as many films as I want to each year. Either I don't have the time (especially in late Spring and Early Summer) or they only play in major cities like New York or L.A., both of which are too far for a suburbanite like Uncle Prospero to travel just for a movie. I take solace in the fact that eventually I will see them on DVD or On Demand.

Still, these three Horror movies had enough Internet buzz to make me determined to see them one way or another:

Pontypool.

Stephen McHattie stars in this Canadian zombie flick about a DJ who is on air when the outbreak (spread by vocal signals) takes hold of Ontario.

The House of the Devil

Writer/Director Ti West's take on the "Babysitter in Peril" is supposedly one hell of a ride. The presence of Tom Noonan (Manhunter) alone is enough to make me want to see it.

Dead Snow

This Norwegian Nazi Zombie flick had gorehounds and zombie fanatics chomping at the bit to see it. Sadly, it played nowhere within driving distance of Uncle P. Still, any movie that references Peter Jackson's Brain Dead (Dead Alive in the States) is good enough for me.

And what movies in 2009 did you want to see, but didn't or couldn't? Inquiring minds want to know. OK. Maybe I just want to know.

I'll be posting my Top 10 Movies of '09 after the New Year (I still have a few more movies to see before the year is over).

More, anon.
Prospero

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The 10 Worst Movies of 2009

This image is from an incredibly bad 50's Sci=Fi movie called The Brain from Planet Arous. The movies on my 2009 Worst list are certainly no better, though most certainly have bigger budgets and probably better production values (though I wouldn't count on the latter).

I actually only posted reviews of two of these films, mostly because I was embarrassed to admit that I had seen them. The majority were seen either On Demand or on DVD well after their initial theatrical releases. Again, I can only speak to films I have actually seen (with one exception), so there will be no mention of truly awful films like Paul Blart: Mall Cop or Miss March (which seems to top most professional critics' Top Ten Worst lists). No, these are just the 10 worst movies I saw this past year.

10. The Unborn

Screenwriter David Goyer attempts to make Judaism scary with this tale about a dybbuk seeking revenge on it's living sibling. With all apologies to my Jewish friends, but Jewish mysticism just isn't scary. Gary Oldman, James Remar, Jane Alexander and Carla Cugino should all have known better than to get involved with this mess.

9. Push

A shady government agency is out to get a hold of some young folks with extraordinary powers. Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning star in a movie already made by Brian DePalma.

8. The Ugly Truth

Please will someone tell Gerard Butler that he has no business making romantic comedies? Because he really sucks at them. Yeesh!

7. The Haunting in Connecticut

Supposedly based on 'true' events, this ghost story was sillier than an episode of "Happy Tree Friends." It's a shame, because I really love Virginia Madsen and think she deserves a better career.

6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Even the presence of someone I know as an extra couldn't drag me to this mess in the theater, so I watched it on DVD. Noisy, disjointed and just as incomprehensibly plotted as the original, Transformers 2 is more of a commercial than an actual movie.

7. G.I. Joe: The Rise of COBRA

In what is possibly the least necessary toy tie-in movie ever made, Channing Tatum, Dennis Quaid, Ray Park and Arnold (The Mummy) Vosloo appear in yet another 90 minute toy commercial.

6. Friday the 13th

Marcus Nispel's "re-boot" of the 80's horror franchise explores no new territory, gives us no insights into any character and makes Steve Miner's original cheese-fest look good in comparison. The only reason to see this movie is Jared, and he never even gives us the pleasure of appearing half-naked. Boo! I wish I had spent my Memorial Day off doing almost anything else than seeing this piece of crap.

5. The Pink Panther 2

Steve Martin used to be funny. He gave it all up to become a Hollywood Whore. How sad. If a film was eaten, regurgitated, eaten again and the deposited as feces, it would have been this movie.

4. Funny People

The falsest title ever.



3. New Moon

The Twilight movies aren't just bad, they're insulting. Vampires do NOT sparkle and werewolves are NOT cute, cut and cuddly.

2. Terminator: Salvation

If you though Terminator: Rise of the Machines ruined the franchise, then take a look at director McG's turd of a movie:

1. Paranormal Activity

Made in 2007 for $11,00, Paranormal Activity was supposedly the scariest movie ever made. What it actually was, was a cheap, unscary and boring movie that tricked unsophisticated movie-goers into thinking it was much better than it was.

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Top 10 Sci-Fi Movies of the Decade

First let me say, I have tickets to see Avatar this coming Saturday, so this list may (or may not) be amended come Sunday.

While researching all the great Sci-Fi movies of the last 10 years, I found lists that included films I would categorize as 'Fantasy,' which also included plenty of Superhero movies. These will be addressed in a separate post. And while many Superhero films contain Sci-Fi elements (Superman is from another planet, after all) but to me, they are more Fantastical than Scientific.

Again, these are entirely my opinions. You can agree, disagree or ignore them completely; I don't care.

10. The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

Larry Blamire's hilarious tongue-in-cheek 50's homage about a pair of stranded aliens, their radioactive pet; a mad scientist and his lab-created girlfriend and a mind-controlling skeleton in the California desert is just pricelessly funny."Dance, Animala! Dance!"

9. Pitch Black

Director David Twohy introduced the character Riddick (and the actor Vin Diesel - oh, how I'd love to hear that voice whispering dirty talk in my ear) in this surprisingly good film about a group of travelers stranded on a planet inhabited by blood-thirsty bat-like monsters who only come out during the yearly eclipse of its two suns. The survivors struggle to make their way through the exceptionally hostile environment to a ship that save them, led by the criminal Riddick, who has had his eyes surgically altered to see in the dark. An original concept and well-developed characters helped make Pitch Black better than most B-movies. Radha Mitchel, Cole Hauser and Keith David round out the cast in this exciting and scary movie.

8. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Michael Gondry directs Charlie Kaufman's script about a man (Jim Carrey in an extraordinary performance) who hires a company to erase the memories of a love affair gone sour. Kate Winslet, Elijah Wood, Mark Ruffalo, Jane Adams, David Cross, Kirsten Dunst and Tom Wilkinson round out the exceptional cast of this weird, haunting and beautiful film.

7. Slither

James Gunn (author of the Dawn of the Dead remake) directs Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, Michael Rooker and Gregg Henry in this comedic take on a small town over-run by alien slugs who turn the residents into zombies (and Rooker into a tentacled monstrosity). Slither crosses the line between Horror and Sci-Fi, though the alien elemnet makes it Sci-Fi in my book. Disgusting and hilarious. Best line: "Somethin's wrong with me!"

6. Star Trek

J.J. Abrams' reboot of the classic series was the second most fun I had at the movies last summer. Near-perfect casting and a clever script that maintains the integrity of the original TV series while allowing for new elements and character relationships helped make Star Trek one of the few franchise reboots that actually work, despite what my Trekker friend Dan (no, not my dear D) thought. A thoroughly enjoyable film, made all the more so by terrific performances from Chris Pine; Zachary Quinto; Zoe Saldana; Karl Urban; Simon Pegg; John Cho; Anton Yelchin; Leonard Nimoy and Eric Bana.

5. Children of Men

Afonso Curaon's adaptation of the P.D. James novel set in the not-too-distant future is a dystopian nightmare, where no children have been born for 18 years and one man finds himself the unlikely guardian of the only pregnant woman on the planet. Dark, grim, violent and bloody, Children of Men is ultimately hopeful about mankind's future. It also features some of the most amazing continuous shots ever set to film. Clive Owen, Julianne Moore and Michael Caine head up the cast of this extraordinary film. Sorry K, I know you hated it, but I loved it.

4. Moon

Duncan Jones' brilliant film tops my list of the best films of 2009, hearkening back to the great 'quiet' Sci-Fi films of the 70's. Sam Rockwell's amazing performance alone is worth the price of admission.

3. Donnie Darko

Richard Kelly's 2001 debut casts Jake Gyllenhall as the title character, a young man who finds himself caught up in a bizarre time-travel conundrum involving an evil 6 foot tall rabbit named Frank and a jet engine falling from the plane carrying his sister home from a dance competition in the future. Maggie Gyllenhall; Mary McDonnell; Patrick Swayze; Beth Grant; Jenna Malone; Noah Wylie; Drew Barrymore (who produced) and Katherine Ross all give fine performances in this weird, wild and wonderful film that is still the subject of conjecture and debate among critics, film enthusiasts and physicists. Sadly, Kelly's follow-up films (Southland Tales; The Box) have not lived up the potential he displayed in his first outing.

2. Wall-E

Pixar's amazing story of trash-compacting robot who longs for companionship was tied for my choice (along with The Dark Knight) for Best Picture of 2008. Gorgeous, hilarious and deeply romantic, Wall-E is director Andrew Stanton's eco-warning love story for the 21st Century, and quite simpley one of the best Sci-Fi movies ever made.

1. Artificial Intelligence; A.I.

Originally developed by the late Stanley Kubrick, Stephen Spielberg's adaption of Brian Aldiss' short story 'Supertoys Last All Summer" was the first film I professionally critiqued on the now-defunct PhillyOut.com. As one friend commented after we saw it, A.I. is a 'thick' film. Part fairy tale (Pinnochio), part domestic drama and all heart, Speilberg's Sci-Fi masterpiece may well be his most contested film. But astounding performances by young Haley Joel Osment as the robot David who longs to be a real boy and Jude Law as the framed-for-murder 'pleasurebot' Gigolo Joe help elevate this deep, dark and ultimately thoughtful film about what it means to be human into something much more than the sum of its parts. Derided by many critics when it was first released, opinions about this movie have changed greatly over the past nine years, and I am glad to report that I am no longer among the minority of folks who love it.

Honorable Mentions: District 9; The Cell; Signs; War of the Worlds; Serenity; The Fountain; The Host; Cloverfield; Minority Report.

My picks for the Top 10 Fantasy Movies of the Decade, next.

More, anon.
Prospero

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