A dearth of anything truly interesting to say combined with a particularly nasty bout of Seasonal Affective Disorder have left your Uncle P in a rather dour mood of late.
I'm still keeping my Dream Journal though, and hope that my most recent bizarro dream about Alien Hands (don't ask, just yet) will result in another full-fledged screenplay, though I have to wonder where that particular scenario might lead. The dream itself involved dismembered alien hands that turned into feet which grew legs that developed into a torso... And no, I didn't eat anything strange, spicy or greasy before bed last night. I'd detail the entire dream here, but I don't want to risk your thinking I'm completely insane (as if you don't already think that, anyway).
I am still feeling rather trapped by snow (and not at all happy to hear that another major storm may be headed our way this coming week), despite having done some grocery shopping today (parking was a literal nightmare, thanks to the 8+ feet high piles of snow in the stores' parking lots). Give me a day or so to cope and I'll be back to my usual shenanigans. Or not.
In the meantime, I encourage the less squeamish among you to check out Bugcrush, a short, gay-themed horror film from 2006. Suggested by J.A. at My New Plaid Pants and posted on Post-Mortem Depression, this short (31 minutes) but effective film captures gay teen angst in a way that few modern filmmakers have been been to do. It's also probably NSFW.
By now, regular readers know that Brit action star Jason Statham is at the top of my obsession list. No, he doesn't have the beautiful good looks of Brandon Routh or even loony-tune Tom Cruise. But damn! -- He is Masculinity personified... All I ask is an hour alone with him... TMI? Maybe. But posts on Caliban's Revenge about hot men are not exactly a priority. In fact, there are only 23 posts in two years with the label "Hot." Still, in my book, they don't come much hotter than Mr. Statham. Of course, aesthetic taste is completely subjective. You may find Jason Statham repulsive, for any number of reasons.
Needless to say, these are all fantasy men, who probably wouldn't give Uncle P the time of day if he passed them in the street. But still... you have to admit they all share an undeniable hotness for any number of reasons. And while Caliban's Revenge may not be one "those" blogs (you know the ones I'm talking about, even if you won't admit to visiting them), when I see something I like, the shrinking violet I am can't help but talk about it.
Such is the case with latest hottie to catch my eye, Isaiah Mustafah, former NFL player and star of Gillette's brilliant "Old Spice" body wash campaign. Isaiah has been all ove the web, posting video responses to Twitter tweets and blog posts about the campaign:
I don't know about ya'll, but I'd have no trouble finding Isaiah in the woods, no matter how he smelled, especially if he was only wearing a towel.
I've always liked John Cusack. I love Say Anything with its iconic scene of Cusack holding a boom box over his head, playing Peter Gabriel's 'In Your Eyes' in an effort to win back the girl he loves. So romantic. Or his hilarious turn as a hitman attending his high school reunion in Grosse Point Blank (which also features a bravura performance from his equally talented sister, Joan). Then there's the brilliant insanity of Being John Malkovich and the almost scary version of Stephen King's 1408. And let's not forget Sixteen Candles or the completely hilarious Better Off Dead("...and to drink... Peru!"). Currently (and, I think, sadly) he is starring in Hot Tub Time Machine, a movie I have no intention of ever seeing, even when it shows up for free on TBS in about 3 months.
Anyway, Cusack is also currently a guest blogger on BoingBoing, the Science/Sci-Fi/Steampunk/Free -Speech/Arts-and-Crafts/Gadgets/Bananas/Whatever-the-Hell-They-Feel-Like-Posting-About blog run by Science Fiction author Cory Doctorow. Today, Mr. Cusack posted the video I am about to share with you.
If you have seen Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland and thought he must have been smoking some primo ganga while making it, I can't even imagine what you will think about Czech animator Jan Svankmejer's take on Lewis Carroll's seminal work of nonsense incarnate. As a long-time Alice aficionado (I once wrote a play called "Through a Looking Glass, Darkly"), I am always excited to find new takes on Reverend Dodgson's allegorical and politically satirical fairy tale. Svankmejer's disturbing stop-motion/live action short is nothing less than brilliant, though as insane as anyone can imagine:
Cusack also links to another Svankmejer short, Meat Love. I'll leave it to you to form your own opinion:
As if I needed another reason to love Cusack, his taste in bizarro filmmaking only cements my admiration of him further (Hot Tub Time Machine not withstanding).
Interestingly, BoingBoing contributor Mark Fraunfelder also posted this piece about the British Library's online version of Carroll's original manuscript, which is available for your perusal and delight, for free. As you may well imagine, Uncle P is ecstatic about this link. Despite owning several versions of both Alice books (including "The Annotated Alice"), this is the first time I've been able to actually see the original book in his own handwriting, complete with his original illustrations. Nonsense just doesn't get better than this.
If you aren't familiar with Mr. Cusack's or Reverend Dodgson's works, I highly suggest you go to Netflix and/or your local library, posthaste. I promise you will be disappointed by neither. And just as a side note, the best concert I ever attended was Peter Gabriel's in the late 80's. I believe my sister will also attest to that fact.
Regular readers know that I visit multiple blogs and movie sites every day. I visit some to be informed on any number of topics (Towleroad; Boing Boing); some to be amused (Regretsy; BizzaroBlog; Sleep Talkin' Man); some because I just love the opinions of like-minded folks (Just a Jeep Guy, Are You There Blog? It's Me, Stephen); some because they are even more obsessed with movies than yours truly (My New Plaid Pants, Final Girl, Film Experience) and some just because I like what the folks writing them have to say (Post Apocalyptic Bohemian). I have become online friends with several other bloggers (Sean at Just a Jeep Guy and the two Stephens at Are You There Blog? and Post Apocalyptic). I comment on all of them from time to time and many of them comment here.
One of my favorite blogs is Kindertrauma. The writers on Kindertrauma are Aunt John and Uncle Lancifer, who I assume are romantic partners (and they should forgive and correct me if I am wrong). They write about the things (movies, mostly) that left traumatic scars on people as children. People write in with stories of books, movies and TV shows that gave them nightmares as children, often asking for help in identifying those traumatic TV shows, movies and/or books.
Well, as you can imagine, not much traumatized your Uncle P as a kid. Thanks to a weird father, I grew up on the Universal Monsters canon. I was the 10 year-old who stayed up past his bedtime to watch Doctor Shock movies on Saturday nights. I was the kid who drew vampires on his Valentine cards and thought that blood tasted like cherry syrup (big surprise there, eh?).
Still, there was one thing that really freaked me out - burning alive. The story of Joan of Arc could send me fleeing to my room and tales of witch burnings in 15th Century Europe made me cower under the covers. Of all the ways one can die, burning to death freaks me out like no other. I think its the combination of pain and the smell of burning flesh that really gets to me. I once dreamt about a horrible wreck in which I could smell the burning flesh of those in the wrecked car, and I woke up gagging. It really is the most horrible way I can think of to die. So imagine my horror when, as a youth in the early 70's when I saw a movie (TV show?) in which a young woman was exhorting her friend to burn her at the stake for being a witch. Yikes!
So recently, I sent an email to Aunt John and Uncle Lancifer about that very trauma, asking if they, or any of their readers, could identify the scene for me. Lo and behold, the posted my query here, Of course, no one has stepped forward to identify the source of my particular Kindertauma, though I am hoping some one will.
And almost as importantly, they have linked Caliban's Revenge on their site. Hopefully that will mean more traffic for your Uncle P. That, and the answer to my question. Perhaps one of you know what movie or TV show I'm referencing. It's been bugging me for years, now. Any ideas, friends?
This is a quickie tonight (again), but I love this blog I've just found (via) so much, I had to share.
The painting to your left is "Dog Legs" by artist Bill Zeman, who as been collaborating with his now 5 year-old daughter, since she was 2. Basically, she tells him what to paint, and he does so. Then he posts the results and his daughter's critiques. The directive for this particular painting was "Draw a dragon sneaking up on a girl. She's picking flowers." She complained that the dragon had dog legs, hence the title.
Tiny Art Director is also now a book, which I will be buying for a certain someone for a certain day coming up, because I know this person would love it (and I'll be buying a copy for myself, as well). I urge you to buy it, too. Prints of Zeman's works are also available for purchase on the site.
Off to write elsewhere but as always, more, anon, Prospero
Yes, I know, the year has already been gone for a week. What the hell took me so long? A hundred and five distractions. Plus the fact that I knew this was going to one of those posts that takes freaking forever to write, no matter how short it is. And it won't be short, I can almost guarantee - so I won't blame you if you skip on to the list already, but you'll probably miss some pretty damned funny stuff (or not).
Anyway, 2009 was a really interesting year in movies. 3D finally made a successful run and looks like it's here to stay. And Sci-Fi had its best year since The Empire Strikes Back. We learned that even a dead protagonist can sustain a series of increasingly godawful sequels and still make money; we re-learned that James Cameron is an insane genius of hype, if nothing else; jailbait werewolves make tweenie-boppers and cougars scream and zombies still rule. We also re-learned that the Interwebs still have the power to turn $11,000 into $100M, no matter how bad your movie really is. Oh, I almost forgot. We learned Alan Moore should just stop bitching and whining about Hollywood, because everyone already knows he wrote the source material, anyway. And let's not forget the return of traditional 2D, hand-drawn animation (an art I feared lost forever).
Yes, yes... "Get on with it already, Uncle P." And so I shall. Once again, these are simply the 10 best movies I saw this year. I don't have easy access to limited release films; I don't have the time to see every every movie I would like to nor the interest in seeing a good 60% of what Hollywood thinks of as movies, these days. Agree, disagree, call me names... I don't care. I'm sitting safely in my home office, sipping a cocktail and having a smoke. So here are picks for the Top 10 Movies of 2009:
Tim Burton produced Henry Selig's 3D Stop-Motion fantasy, based on Neil Gaiman's children's book of the same name, about a girl who discovers an alternate universe where things aren't nearly as perfect as they seem. Delightfully creepy and charmingly animated, Selig (along with Wallace and Gromit creator Nick Park) is thankfully keeping the art of Stop-Motion Animation alive in the age of digital CGI.
Alan Moore... blah, blah, blah... unfilmable... blah, blah, blah... Dr. Manhattan's penis (image NSFW)... blah, blah, blah. Director Zach Snyder (Dawn of the Dead) may not have made the best Superhero Movie of all time, but it certainly ranks in the Top 5. His slo-mo/stop-mo/360 style of filmmaking is perfectly suited to comic book adaptations and his attention to detail in recreated illustrator Dave Gibbons original artwork is astounding. And I, for one, didn't miss the giant squid at all. And it has one of the most amazing opening credits sequences ever put to film; alternative history at its finest.
Disney/Pixar's next Oscar-winner actually is the Best Animated film of the year. This 3D CGI fantasy tells the story of an old man rediscovering his childhood sense of adventure; a lonely young boy discovering friendship; an exotic bird trying to feed her babies and a childhood hero who turns out to be something other than he appeared to be. If the first fifteen minutes don't make you cry, the last ten, will. This film went in a delightfully unexpected and often hilarious direction, proving Pixar's writers and directors are among the few at the major studios who are still capable of original story-telling. Not since Dorothy's, has a flying house been the start of so much -- Squirrel! -- fun. Simply delightful.
Do I really need to say why? How about just this: Woody Harrelson; Bill Murray; amusement park; hilarious; gory; evil you-know-whats; zombies. While its no Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland is a great ride. "Nut up or shut up!"
Current wunderkind J.J. Abrams takes over and re-invents one of Science Fiction's most beloved and revered franchises with an exciting, funny and original film which uses alternate time-line theory to re-introduce Gene Roddenberry's original characters in a fresh way, while still remaining true to them in this origins tale of Kirk, Spock, Bones, O'Hura, et al and the very first voyage of the USS Enterprise.
As I said in my original review, I loved Jason Reitman's debut film Thank You for Smoking. I then loathed his follow-up, the inexplicably popular Juno (honestly, one more whiny folk song and I was going to pull a Stewie and Brian --language NSFW -- on the DVD.) But Up In the Air's hilarious script by Reitman and Sheldon Turner is the perfect vehicle for the handsome and charming George Clooney, who deserves the title "The Cary Grant of His Generation.:
Yes, I know this movie was made in 2008. Yes, I know it was screened at festivals all over the place and thousands of people saw it before I did. Most of the world, including Uncle P, finally got to see Michael Dougherty's thoroughly original and enjoyable Horror anthology when it was released on DVD this past October. Gory, funny, a little scary and featuring loads of great performances from some the most underrated film actors working today, Trick 'r Treat is destined to take its place among the holiday's classics. I've posted this trailer several times, but it's worth posting again because it's almost as much fun as the movie, itself.
The best thing to come out of South Africa since Charlize Theron, Neil Blomkamp's relatively low-budget Science Fiction movie pays homage to the classics, while still generating an original and fascinating film. Combining first-person documentary-style filmmaking with traditional narrative, Blomkamp's essay on man's inhumanity is exciting, horrifying and breathtaking all at once. Another fine example of Alternate History Sci-Fi.
How much do I love Sam Raimi's triumphant return to the genre that made him famous? More than I can tell you. As you may well know, I saw this with many people I love, all of whom loved it nearly as much as I did. Relentless; gross; creepy and hilarious without a glimpse of nudity or a single four-letter word worse than 'damn,' Raimi's film proves that effective horror movies don't need mindless teenagers getting hacked to death by a masked killer to be truly effective and scary. Drag Me to Hell is the best Horror movie in the last 20 years. Sorry for the poor quality of the below video's sound, but I thought Raimi's comments were worth hearing.
Duncan Jones' brilliant feature debut is a return to smart, quiet Science Fiction. Eschewing elaborate CGI effects; explosions; alien monsters and deep-voiced villains, Jones relies on story and character; the two of the Three Commandments of a good film. Add Sam Rockwell's astounding performance(s), and you have Cinema's Holy Trinity. Like Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, Duncan's Moon is truly smart Sci-Fi at its best. If Rockwell isn't nominated for at least one major acting award, yours truly will be one very unhappy film fan.
There you have it. I hope you clicked the links and watched the videos. I tried my best to link to things other than the usual, and include clips I haven't used (or even seen) before, even though I may have written about most of these movies, before. I also tried to say at least one or two new things about films I've talked about at least once before. And, as always, I would love to know your thoughts. What was/were your favorite(s) of 2009?
Or so says Willy Wonka. By now, you should know Uncle Prospero loves him some nonsense. And this image is probably the most nonsensical (not to mention innately disturbing) thing I came across today. I wish I could remember where I found it, so I could credit the blogger who posted it, but I was at work and didn't jot it down (if you know, please comment so I credit whoever it was).
I know there's a lot of weird and kinky fan art and fan fiction floating around out there. Everything from Kirk/Spock sex and Frodo/Sam sex to fan-written stories set on the "Lost" island, but this depiction of Alf and someone I can only assume is Matt Frewer, takes the cake.
Oddly, it's not the only bit of nonsense I have to talk about, tonight.
There's this video posted at Boy Culture, of the Korean "Ladyboy Gaga" that made me giggle.
I got home rather late this evening and when I finally got around to checking my email, a very curious thing awaited me - a link to HomoShame, a sort of gay version of PeopleOfWalmart.
HomoShame is all about all the reasons straight people are afraid of us. And also why some of us hate each other.
As far as I am concerned, you can let your freak flag fly, as long as you are not impinging on anyone else's right to fly his or her own freak flag. And don't go forcing your freak flag on those that don't want it. Accepting the differences is what it's important, not forcing the other unthinking, uncaring jerk into agreeing with your view. As my often (though unintentionally) sage mother would say "That's why they make chocolate and vanilla."
Still, there are those in the community who are ashamed of our more outrageous brothers and sisters. More insidious than the homophobia of the uninformed, is the LGBT community's own internal homophobia.
As many of you know, there are many sub-groups covered under the "LGBT" label, and I won't take up time going into them here (there are books and websites - go look it up). And from time to time, various factions of those sub-groups have been treated (to use Dustin Lance Black's phrase) "less-than" by members of their own community. I suppose the point of this rant is, we can't fight amongst ourselves if we want to convince "them"* that we have a right to be who we are and love who we love without judgment, hatred or violence.
Honestly, I didn't intend for this post to become what it did. I thought I was going to put up some pictures and talk about how outrageous we can be and how funny it is. But then I started reading the authors' captions and realized what was really going on. Yes, some of the stuff is very funny. But it's also very telling.
*No, I'm not saying the Pope is the devil - just that he's stupid, antiquated and out-of-touch with reality.
I cannot believe that it's been more than a year since my first post here on Caliban's Revenge.
And I cannot believe that I missed my 1 year Anniversary. That's so typical of me.
Of course, at this point in my life, I keep track of my past based on what show I happened to be doing at the time.
My first post was on July 9th, 2008. I was about to start work on my production of Thornton Wilder's "The Skin of Our Teeth." I had no photos, no links and no embedded videos. It was just my own humble opinion.
Well, maybe not so humble.
Okay - my own very opinionated view of how I think the world should work.
Anyway, since it's been almost 14 months since I started sharing with the world, I thought it high time to re-share that first post, though this time with pictures and videos and and all the doo-dads I've learned to use since then. And maybe a little more insight into what I was feeling back then.
So, here is my updated version of Ten Fantasy/Horror/Sci-Fi Movies that Should Be Re-Made:
1. Something Wicked This Way Comes – The terrific Ray Bradbury novel (one of the first novels I learned to dissect and still one of my all time favorites) about a carnival of soul-stealing spectres who feed on fear, is diluted and dumbed-down in the Disney film adaptation starring Jason Robards, Peter Billingsly (A Christmas Story) and a then-unknown Jonathan Pryce. As a kid who loved carnivals (and an adult who still does), the novel both terrified and fascinated me. The superb BBC program "Torchwood" adopted part of its premise for an excellent season-two episode.
3. Fahrenheit 451 – Frank Darabount (The Mist; The Green Mile; The Shawshank Redemption) is scheduled to remake another Bradbury classic, originally adapted in 1966 by French auteur Francios Truffault as a stark and sterile vehicle for Julie Christie and Oskar Werner where, in a dystopian future, books are illegal and 'Firemen' are dispensed to burn caches of contraband literature. The original, while fascinating, is just a bit too 'artsy' to capture Bradbury's homespun story-telling style.
4. The Shining – Neither the Stanley Kubrick original, nor the Mick Garris-helmed TV version satisfyingly adapts Stephen King's terrifying novel about a haunted Colorado hotel and the alcoholic playwright who brings his family to spend a winter taking care of it. Kubrick's version is more about the nature of madness than a ghost story, while the TV version (written by King) is forced by the limitations of the medium (and the network censors to omit important details. The best version, though has to be this one.
5. Sisters – An early Brian DePalma film about formerly conjoined twins (played by Superman's Margot Kidder), one of whom is a psychopath. A fascinating premise, disappointingly executed on a very low budget.
6. Last House on the Left – Horror icon Wes Craven (The Hills Have Eyes; A Nightmare on Elm Street) made his name in the early 70's with this tale of a family's revenge against the men who raped their daughter. Famous for the tagline "Keep telling yourself: 'It's only a movie,'" Last House… is supposedly scheduled for an updated remake in 2009.*
*Update - the far inferior re-make was derided by critics and disappeared from theater screens faster than one can say "Jack Robinson."
7. The Exorcist– Yes, William Friedkin's amazing film adaptation of William Peter Blatty's novel was a sensation in its day (people literally fainted during screenings and lines formed for blocks) and can still scare the Faithful, but the advancement of CGI special effects make this story of a young girl possessed by a demon ripe for remaking. In the hands of the right production team, a remake could have people fainting, puking and lining up all over again.
8. The Haunting – The original 1961 film version of Shirley Jackson's novel "The Haunting of Hill House" is one of the most frightening movies ever made, all without its audience seeing a thing. And it features an astonishing performance by the always amazing Julie Harris. The execrable late-90's remake, directed by Jan de Bont, is simply an excuse to exploit CGI effects and the talents of actors Lily Taylor and Liam Neesom. A truly frightening remake is certainly in order.
9. The Hobbit – An animated version of J.R.R. Tolkien's prequel to The Lord of the Rings, made by Rankin/Bass Studios (best known for holiday stop-motion fare like Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer), confusingly reduces Tolkien's fantasy tale to its basest elements (and ends halfway through the story). Guillermo Del Toro (Hellboy; Pan's Labyrinth) has been signed to direct the live-action version, as well as a 'bridge' film which further connects the story to Peter Jackson's astonishing LOTR trilogy. Thankfully, Jackson is signed to produce both films, though I have no qualms about Del Toro's abilities as a director of fantasy fare.
10.Logan's Run – This 1970's cheesefest, based on the novel by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson, won an Academy Award for Special Effects, but time has not been kind to the film which starred Michael York, Jenny Agutter, Peter Ustinov and the late Farrah Fawcett. Obvious miniature sets, bad robotic effects and terrible acting all add up to a Z-grade (at best) movie about a futuristic society which values youth above all. A faithful adaptation of the novel, aided by modern CGI FX, has been bandied about for years, with names like Schwarzenegger, Cruise and Pitt attached at various times. It is apparently scheduled for a 2010 release, according to IMDb.
There you have it; my first post, updated.* Keep reading and commenting. You know I love hearing from you. What movies would you like to see re-made?
