So while it's technically Saturday, I haven't been to bed yet, so it's still Friday to me, hence the rare Saturday post here at The Revenge.
So, the show has opened and I can kind of resume my usual Internet explorations at all my favorite sites. And among my most favorite is BoingBoing, where a young fiction sci-fi author and a couple of other science, art and crafting loons post about all things amazing; amusing; steampunk; cryptozoological; mechanical; theatrical and assorted ephemera-related. And it is where I found the video clip which I am about to share with you.
The clip is an extended promo for a Norwegian television program called "Gylne Tider (Golden Times)." I have no idea what kind of program "Gylne Tider" is, though I expect the three men who are seen flipping through the photo album are it's hosts. What astounds me is the completely random assortment of celebrities who agreed to lip-sync to "Let It Be" in front of a green-screen. I mean, did Glen Close know she was going to be in a music video with Malcolm Jamal Warner, Kelly McGillis, Peter Falk (!);* Pamela Anderson; Leslie Nielsen; Dee Snider and Tonya Harding of all people?
This is one of the most peculiar things I've seen in a long time:
I mean, it's not me, right? That was just effing weird, right? And what he hell? *Peter Falk? Mr. Falk is reportedly in the throes of late stage dementia, poor fellow. Did he even know what he was doing? And let's not even get into Leslie Nielsen showing up in something new so soon after his passing. The closest I can come to describing that clip is "Norway's Got Talent: Celebrity Zombie Green-Screen Karaoke Edition." Got anything better?
Today marks the anniversaries of the deaths of two prominent figures in both popular culture and my own life, who have more in common than one might initially suppose.
On August 16th, 1956, Bela "Dracula" Lugosi passed into the ether. His funeral was attended by a handful of his friends, including the infamously bad director, Edward D. Wood, Jr. As per his request, he was buried in his Dracula costume.
Lugosi had enjoyed a rather successful stage and film career in his native Hungary for quite a while before appearing as Bram Stoker's archetypal monster in the original Broadway production of Dean and Balderston's 1927 play, which in turn was adapted into the famous 1931 film by director Tod Browning. Women swooned and Lugosi became Universal's top star, though his refusal to wear the heavy makeup required to play Frankenstein's Monster would give his greatest rival his own iconic horror role. Lugosi would go on to appear in dozens of films, including White Zombie; The Black Cat; Island of Lost Souls (the first film adaptation of "The Island of Doctor Moreau") and Franz Lubitsch's classic comedy Ninotchka. Sadly, by the mid-to-late 40's, he had been reduced to appearing in self-parodying roles in films like Zombies on Broadway and Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein:
By the mid-50's Lugosi was a washed up has-been, addicted to drugs and reduced to appearing in Ed Wood's tragically funny films Glen or Glenda and Bride of the Monster. Ironically, his last film was made two years after his death, when Wood used silent footage of the star at the start of what many have called "The Worst Movie Ever Made" (though many would argue that point), Plan Nine from Outer Space. Ironically,Martin Landau would go on to win an Oscar for his portrayal of Lugosi in Tim Burton's best film,Ed Wood:
Lugosi was a childhood idol, and I can remember being very upset when Dracula was shown to my 7th grade class (the novel was part of our curriculum) and most of the kids laughed at the, by then, corny movie. Being of Hungarian descent (with a little German and Scotch thrown in on my mother's side), I grew up thinking that if 'Uncle Bela' could be a star, then so could I.
Flash forward 21 years to 1977. I was about to enter my Junior year of High School that August when my mother tearfully informed me of the death of her own personal icon, Elvis Presley. Dad may have been an aficionado of Classical music (Beethoven and Wagner, in particular -- more on Dad's Nazi-leanings at another time), but Mom was a Rock 'N' Roller, and Elvis was the man she wished she could have married (along with millions of other gals in the '50's).
One of Uncle P's earliest stage memories -- I was maybe 8 or 9 -- was lip-synching to a45RPM vinyl recording of "Hound Dog" in front of my elementary school classmates. I seem to remember they all had a good time...
Elvis and Bela shared a similar career path - both were Pop Culture icons taken down by their addictions, though Elvis certainly enjoyed a longer and much more lucrative career. Both made some really awful movies:
Whatever happened to Mary Tyler Moore, anyway?
Elvis died of a drug-overdose, found by his daughter on the toilet. I can't imagine a more ignominious ending to the career of 'The King.' And while my mother still pays homage to Presley on the anniversary of his death, I can't help but make mention of how gorgeous and hot he was in that black leather outfit he wore for his 1968 "Comeback Special:"
Damn! I totally understand why women threw their panties on stage... and I have never been so jealous of Priscilla... And I know plenty of 'straight' boys that would have thrown themselves at this version of him.
What does all this mean? I'm not exactly sure. Maybe it's just that legendary talent endures. Both Lugosi and Presley will remain icons of Pop Culture, as long as folks like myself continue to talk about them; post their images; view their works and aspire to be just like them - without the death-causing addictions, of course.
Most of tonight's post is made up of last night's (far from sloppy) left-overs. I say "most," because I did find one of the items below this afternoon.
And before any of y'all get up in my face, I know that's a ROYGBIV rainbow in the picture of Pegasus, but when I Googled 'gay rainbow unicorn' and found what is literally the antithesis of that phrase, I couldn't not use it. Oh irony, how you mock me. Or something.
Then again, I suppose the rather phallic (not to mention psychedelic) mushrooms do push the whole thing from 'mythological' to 'gay.' By the way, what does a gay Pegasus eat? Haaaa-aaay! I'm here all week. Try the veal and tip your servers.
Anyway, I posted about the rainbow dude the other day and I guess I was right on the cusp of a meme, because yesterday I found a clip that makes the single best use of of AutoTune, ever:
Genius! I'd really love to meet the Rainbow Guy. I mean, how many of us can honestly say we have something that brings us that much insane joy?
Did someone say "creepy photos?" What? Oh, my mistake. Yes, "Pathetic Celebutard Court Video" is very different. The Cult of Celebrity is nothing if not bizarre. We elevate people based on the slimmest of merits, then watch like rabid hyenas as they fall, drooling to tear them apart. I know I've taken plenty of potshots as 'Lilo,' here. I try to stay away from the celebrity gossip, mostly because I despise bloggers like Perez Hilton, who make their money exploiting rumors, innuendo and altered photos. But the once adorable and truly promising child star that was Lindsay Lohan has become a bigger train wreck than Britney and Paris combined. All the stupid bitch needs is a sex tape and she'll win the title... No... I know. Lilo needs a Sassy Gay Friend to pull her from the depths of despair. Honestly, I must admit to a certain sense of schadenfreude when I saw the video of her sentencing; and based on the comments on several websites that carried it (the majority of which were: "Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!"), so did many millions of others. Still, I can't help be saddened to see another promising young talent throw it all away.
Don't forget, tomorrow is a special 2nd Anniversary Edition of Caliban's Revenge, featuring an updated version of my first ever movie post and a few bonus surprises...
I want to know the names of the asshats who claim there is no such thing as global warming, dagnabbit! (suddenly Uncle P has become Yosemite Sam.) Seriously, it's ridiculously hot here on the East Coast. Today was our second day at 102 degrees in Philly, the first time since 1966. Now I know some of you were still in diapers and most of your parents' were. I was alive, but too young to actually remember (or even take notice).
It is July, after all. And July should be hot. But this hot, this early? No thanks! And it looks like there is no relief in the very near future... Stay frosty, my East Coast friends (Sean - I know you know what I mean, brutha).
This movie just looks so silly and funny and smart - everything Burton's Alice in Wonderland lacked. I just love love Carrell's 'Faux-manian' accent as Super-villain Gru. And I completely understand that I am being manipulated by the precocious childwith the stuffed animal, but I think the filmmakers are hoping that we get that. There have been plenty of Superhero movies, but I can't name a single Super-villain movie (and no - horror movies do not count - my definition of a super-villain comes from the DC/Marvel/Darkhorse/etc. Universes. Yes, Hannibal Lecter is a super villain, but he is not a Lex Luthor/Joker type Super-villain.Despicable Me opens on July 9th.
And since I'm on the topic of upcoming movies, director Christopher Nolan is about to deliver my semi-annual Birthday present on July 16th with my last hope for summer movies this year, Inception:
Everyone knows about the phenomenon that was The Dark Knight, but for my money, Nolan's best film is his Steampunk Magic fantasy The Prestige. Nolan elicits amazing performances from everyone involved (Hugh Jackman; Christian Bale; Michael Caine; Scarlett Johansson; David Bowie). It took me more than one viewing of this astonishing film to actually decide which character had my sympathy. If you've never seen it, you should.
I can think of no director in the last decade who has more consistently delivered both intelligent and exceptionally entertaining films as Nolan, and from the early (and thankfully non-spoilery) reviews, we can expect nothing less from Inception.
How's this for a segue: Speaking of my birthday... I actually have two birthdays coming up in the next few weeks. The first is this Friday, July 9th, which marks the Second Anniversary of Caliban's Revenge. I'll be posting an updated version of my very first real movie post, "Ten Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror Movies That Should Be Remade." Sadly, the list has changed little in two years, despite past buzz about several possibilities.
As for my actual Birthday on Sunday, July 18th, friends will be joining me at New York's Coney Island for a day of fun and nonsense. I grew up hearing stories about my mother visiting Coney Island as kid in the 40's and 50's, but have never been there myself, despite a life-long fascination with the place. I've even written the outline and some lyrics to a musical about Coney Island's Luna Park, once the single largest consumer of Edison light bulbs in the world and the first place to employ incubators for human babies, among many other fascinating things. If you're in the New York City area, we're meeting at 1 PM in front of the Cyclone in Astroland. My inner child is beyond ecstatic in anticipation of what I am sure will be anti-climactic event, but I don't care.
Honestly, I think I may actually have too much to talk about tonight, so I'm gong to save some nonsense for tomorrow. It's a veritable Nonsense Overload! I'll be covering a new development in the Double Rainbow Dude post; a contest involving Evil You-Know-What's and the schadenfreude we all felt while watching poor little Lilo weep for the cameras...
I'm currently working full time, directing a play and trying to maintain 3 blogs. Yes, just further proof that Uncle P is off his ancient rocker (no, notKeith Richards).
That's the late, great Rue McClanahan as Madame Morrible in Wicked. I wish I could have seen her play that part - she was certainly perfect for it.
I'm tired, but if you want to read me quoting people about Rue (actually, they're from two of her "Sordid Lives" co-stars and quite lovely), then you can do so either by clicking here or on the James Tolin Memorial Fund Blog link to your left.
I am coming close to being Director Zombie, with more and focus on the show, than anything else (thank goodness the day job is slow this time of year).
The show isn't quite soup yet (nor should it be), but all the ingredients are prepared to dumped in the pot... Yum!
That post title applies in so many ways, here. I was going to talk about directing again (and may still do so on Sunday), but then I came across the video below on Towleroad.
In it, Liza Minnelli talks to Joy Behar about her wedding to David Gest. First, they talk about all the celebrities in attendance. Then they talk a little about Michael Jackson. And finally they talk about the infamous kiss, in which Gest practically tongue-raped her.
The first 'Ewwwww' belongs to the kiss itself: Liza's eyes wide in terror as Gest so desperately tries to prove his heterosexuality; Gest wearing dark glasses to hide his repulsion at kissing a woman, pulling her close to him as she tries to push him away. The only worse kiss I can imagine was the one between Michael and Lisa-Marie on MTV (that spinning sound you heard came all the way from Memphis); yet another 'Ewwwww' moment.
The third 'Ewwwww' comes thanks to Liza's current face. She's had so much surgery, she looks like a parody of herself. In fact, I think she looks more like Mario Cantone* doing an impersonation of her, than like herself. Watch the video and see for yourselves:
Like so many celebrities who simply refuse to grow old gracefully, Liza has become a mockery of herself. Never a great beauty, she had a certain goofy charm in her youth, which lent itself perfectly to her Academy Award-winning performance as Sally Bowles in Cabaret. My father always said he thought she looked like a clown in that movie, but he was a Nazi wannabe, so what the hell did he know? He treated every minority like they were clowns. But I digress...
Sadly, Liza hasn't always had the best of luck when it comes to husbands. Mostly because, like her mother before her, she kept marrying gay men. First was Peter The Boy from Oz Allen, who went to Rio when his baby smiled at him. Then came Jack Haley, Jr. in an attempt to capture some of Mama's 'Dorothy' magic (do I detect a theme here?). Next was artist Mark Gero, whose only real claim to fame was marrying Liza. And finally, her infamous marriage to Gest, who claimed Minnelli beat him. If she did. I wouldn't blame her. She must have been on some heavy-duty meds when she accepted that proposal (and I apologize for the utter terror that clicking that last link may have inspired in you -- my last 'Ewwwww' of the night).
Among her more recent performances, Liza's guest shot as the 'Second Lucille' on "Arrested Development" was nothing short of brilliant (was anything associated with that show not?). And this all comes around to her current performance in the universally panned Sex and the City 2, performing Mario Cantone's* gay wedding and singing Beyonce's "Single Ladies" (I apologize for the poor quality, but this bootleg version is the only one I could find from the actual movie):
Hmmm... Maybe this should really have been a "Gayest Thing" post. In any event, I am saddened to see this once monumental talented reduced to a parody of herself. Like mother like daughter, I suppose.
More, anon. Prospero
*Talk about 'Synchronicity.' Jung would be quite proud, I think.
Okay, I'll admit it. I was torn here. I didn't know what to run with tonight. It was between my promised review of "Ugly Americans" or Ricky Martin's Big Announcement. After careful consideration, the review remains, TBA...
But never let it be said that Uncle P is above some gratuitous images accompanied by legitimate social comment.
Of course, everyone in the world has run this by now, but Latin hottie and former member of Menudo, Ricky Martin, has officially come out. Entertainment Weekly broke the story (they seem to be the go-to when celebs come out) here. As they say, "double-duh." There still might have been a few delusional 30-something fangirls who had dreams of one day becoming Mrs. Ricky Martin, but the rest of us knew a long, long time ago. Straight boys (even hot Latin ones) do not move their hips like that.
Now, a real hero of mine, James Randi, recently came out as well -- at age 81! Randi, if you aren't familiar, is Houdini's heir-apparent. A former magician (The Amazing Randi), Randi has spent the latter years of his life as a psychic debunker. The James Randi Educational Foundation has a standing offer of $1M to anyone who can reproduce and/or prove the existence of psychic phenomena under true scientific test conditions. I believe several have come forward to try, but none have collected. I have known about and loved James Randi for exposing frauds and espousing truth for many years. I love him even more now that he has found the courage to finally tell the truth about himself. You can read about it from the man himself, here.
Here's the thing: Even though everyone knew (or at least suspected) about Ricky, making it official not only validates Martin's personal life, but it encourages both celebrities and average folks to do the same. Our lives matter. The people we love and who love us matter. Speak up and let them know we aren't going away. You know by now how I feel about coming out, being heard and making our voices count.
ACTUP, the AIDS activist organization, had a slogan: SILENCE = DEATH. I think we need a new one to replace it. I'm thinking: TRUTH = FREEDOM. What do you think?
"Enough with politics and LGBT issues, Uncle P! Geez you gotta a high horse!" I know - that's why its so hard to get down off of it, sometimes. I'm getting to be so political in my old age, it's starting to scare me. But I will get off my very high horse and move on to something lighter. Like some hot Latin gay booty:
Damn, that boy was pretty! And Ew; I just made myself feel like this.
I am all for celebrities coming out of the closet. I am also against celebrities being outed by a third party (ala the hateful and vicious Perez Hilton). As someone who was out to most of his friends for a long time, but didn't come out to his immediate family until much later in life, I understand completely. And of course, my immediate family members all basically said "Yeah? And the sky is blue."
Still, it's not an easy thing to do. And I will admit, there are some elderly (75+) and very conservative Catholic* family members to whom I have not, and probably will not, come out. They are happy with the status quo; they don't have Internet access and - quite frankly - its none of their business. They all probably know, anyway, but would rather live in blissful ignorance than admit one of their own was 'one of them.' And honestly, that's fine with me.
Still, it makes me happy when a celebrity finally comes out. One more public voice added to the ranks means one more person whom people admire is gay. And that's never a bad thing. Such is the case with this interview (via) with "Will and Grace" co-star Sean Hayes, in which he finally admits that he is, in fact, gay. My response? "Yeah? And the sky is blue."
Many years ago, while appearing in NJ premiere production of Terrance McNally's Love! Valour! Compassion!, I met and befriended a young actor (now an Out and Proud bartender in San Francisco) who was still pretending to be straight. Most of the cast was openly gay and we all knew that this particular young man was gay, but we said nothing, because it wasn't our place to do so. Several months later, while appearing in a production of Uncle Vanya with the same young man, he came to me and admitted that he was, in fact, gay. My response? "Yeah? And the sky is blue." And his response was "Why is no one surprised?!" Because we all already knew, dear boy. Everyone did. But you had to find that out for yourself.
It's like the end of The Wizard of Oz(could I make a gayer reference?). "You had to find that out for yourself," Glinda tells Dorothy when she finally realizes "There's no place like home." Duh!
Okay - here's the thing; Coming out is a very personal and difficult experience which varies from person to person. Some of us have very positive experiences. Some of us don't. The point is, one should never be afraid to admit the truth, no matter how other people take it. If they don't like it, that's their problem, not yours. Personally, I wish I had come out to my family long before I did. But what's done is done. I guess what I'm saying is that those who love you, love you for who, not what you are.
So please come out, closeted celebrities (Damn! I just sank to Perez Hilton's level). Intelligent fans will still love you and your work. Stupid fans who no longer love you, never really loved you in the first place.
And please come out, closeted non-celebrities. Don't you know there is strength in numbers? The people who love you probably already know, and if they no longer love you after you come out, then they probably never did in the first place.
By the way, my friend Michael does the best Cher I've ever heard.
More, anon. Prospero
*Again - I am not saying the Pope is evil - just poking fun at the Catholic Church's antiquated views on the real world.
That's Hollywood's most sophisticated leading man, Cary Grant (right) with his long-rumored lover, cowboy star Randolph Scott, sharing a dip in the pool at the house they shared before studio execs forced them to separate. These days, the thought of being forced by my employer to break up with my partner makes my blood boil. Of course, in the 40's and 50's, even the merest whisper of one's homosexuality could land one in jail (or worse).
Sadly, it's not much better today. Openly gay actor Rupert Everett takes every opportunity he can to blame his coming out for his faltering career, though I suspect it's really the bad movies he's in, that are to blame. Still, there is such a double standard in Hollywood when it comes to LGBT performers, it makes me want to scream.
Yes, there are loads of openly gay celebrities: Nathan Lane; Neil Patrick Harris; George Takei; David Hyde Pierce; Ian McKellan; Meredith Baxter; Dan Butler;Amanda Bearse; Portia di Rossi; Ellen Degeneres and Jane Lynch to name a very few. But, there are plenty more who, though seen publicly with their partners in gay venues, simply refuse to publicly come out: Queen Latifah; Jodie Foster; Anderson Cooper; Johnny Mathis and many others.
While I certainly agree that coming out is a personal choice (and I hate bloggers like the repulsive Perez Hilton, who consistently try to out celebrities without their permission), I think it is more important now then ever, for those celebrities to openly admit thier sexuality and help the rest of the country move on in the fight for LGBT rights. The more 'Straight America' sees of 'Gay America,' the better. As much as the American LGBT community clamors for equality, the more important it is for us to reveal ourselves as perfectly normal members of society, doing the same jobs and living in the same world as everyone else.
To those celebs still in the closet, whether by personal choice or on the advice of their (probably gay) agents, I say break free from your shackles and show the world that we are as vital to modern society as anyone else. Hate is a learned emotion and the best way to fight it is to admit you are a victim of it.
Brittany Murphy, whose films included of Drop Dead Goregous; Cherry Falls; 8 Mile and Sin City, has died at the age of 32. Probably best known as Tai in 1995's Clueless, Murphy was also the voice of Luann on Mike Judge's long running animated series King of the Hill.
A talented comedic actress who seemed to be one of the few actresses her age to not involved in some scandal or other, by all accounts, Murphy was as genuine and sweet and she was funny and smart.
No word yet as to cause of death, only that she was found unconscious by her mother and was in full cardiac arrest when paramedics arrived at the home she shared with husband, Simon Monjack. She was pronounced dead on arrival at Sedars Sinai in Los Angeles at 10:04 AM PT, according to TMZ (via).
Here's how I'll always think of her:
No more obituaries, please (though I suppose she, Dan O'Bannon and Jennifer Jones make up the troika).
This is probably old news to all of you by now, but Meredith Baxter, star of "Family Ties;" Ben and countless Lifetime movies, came out publicly today. The 62 year-old actress says it was a late-life realization and has been in a relationship with her partner for five years. Once married to actor/director David Birney and a mother of five, Baxter realized that taking part in a lesbian cruise last year would come to surface, so she decided to make the announcement herself, before the tabloids and creeps like Perez Hilton did it for her.
She says she has lived a very out life in L.A. for the past seven years, and that all of her friends and family already knew.
Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this. First of all, of course, "Yay!!!" Another celeb comes clean. Second, I'm stricken by how sad she must have been for 55 years... no one should have to wait that long to live the life they were born to live. And sadder still that an impending announcement by the sleaze-tastic Perez and the even worse TMZ, forced her to come out. While I am a firm believer that coming out will set you free, I also think it should be a personal choice.
I've never been a fan of third-person outing. Yes, even though they've never actually said "I'm Gay," we all known tons of celebs who are, including CNN hottie Anderson Cooper, Jodie Foster and Queen Latifah - all of them outed by third parties, whether they wanted to be, or not. And of course poor, put-upon Rupert Everett whines about how coming out killed his career (honestly, Rupert, making a movie with Madonna is what killed your career - not the fact that you're gay). But how much damage can be done to one's C-List career at age 62?
I applaud Ms Baxter for the courage to come out publicly. I wish more celebrities would (no, not you, Adam). I'm glad she finally found love as it actually gives me hope. But still...
The point is, we shouldn't care. It shouldn't be shocking when anyone comes out. It shouldn't be shocking that anyone is gay. Or straight, bi, transgendered or inter-sexed. This is 21st Century, folks. I thought we were all supposed to be enlightened* by now. Get on with it already, would you? Sheesh!
Anyway - here's Baxter on the Today show:
And here she is in her tour-de-force performance in the TV Movie "A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story" (co-starring the once very attractive, ambi-sexual Stephen Collins):
Honestly, this is a good thing. As more public figures come out, the more people will realize that sexuality neither defines or confines us and that who we love is far less important then the fact that we do love.
Here's the thing: What I most remember about Tron was that seeing it in a theatre gave me a headache. Honestly. I don't know if it was the effects, the plot or the acting. I just know that I had a horrible headache and I was actually nauseousfor several hours afterwards.
As with most of Disney's live-action movies, Tron Legacy will be in digital 3-D, which I can only imagine will serve to heighten the headache-nausea factor. Add that to an implausibly stupid plot and you have one puke-tastic movie.
Now I know there are many fans of the original movie out there. And I have seen it several times on TV without experiencing the same effects. But I can't help but wonder if the sequel will induce the same reaction as the original did, 27 years ago (Oh God - I am really showing my age, aren't I?).
In any event, this teaser trailer for the new movie was just released. I'll leave you to form your own opinions. And Tron lovers, please don't inundate me with hate mail - I just calls 'em as I sees as I sees 'em. Here's' the trailer (via):
In other news, from the London Daily Mail comes this bizarre and rather sad tid-bit about Michael Jackson's nose. Is it me, or have we become way too obsessed with celebrities and their all-too-human frailties? I think if we all spent more time thinking about our own lives and how we impact the lives of others, we wouldn't care about whether Jackohad a prosthetic nose or how many African orphans Angelina and Madonna adopt.
