Not-So-Happy Meals and Other Horror Movie Nonsense

I guess you have to find your heart wherever you can, though the Tin Man there seems to have gone a bit overboard, don't you think? 

I wish I knew where I found this image, so I could give some proper credit. But like many things in Uncle P's scary mind, it's lost forever...

As another "Schocktober" draws close here at the Revenge, I thought an End of Summer Horror post would be fun. And to start it off, here's a short that's apparently been around for a while, but I just discovered today. Coulrophobes be warned... this won't be pretty. Ladies and Germs, I give you Happy Meal:

I'm lovin' it!

So what other horrors await us at our local multiplexes this fall? Let's see...

Well, this weekend we have The Last Exorcism:

That looks interesting, if nothing else...


September 17th brings us Devil:



I'm willing to give Devil a go, even if M. Knight Sham-Movie-Maker is involved. At least he didn't direct it.
We are also supposed to finally see the much-delayed release of the Renee Zelwegger, Bradley Cooper, Jodelle Ferland thriller Case 39:



And October brings us the 7th (really?) entry in the Saw franchise, Saw 3D:



Then there's Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton and John Leguizamo in Vanishing on 7th Street:

And director Darren Aronofsky has Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis and Barbara Hershey in the ballet-themed thriller, Black Swan:

But Uncle P is most looking forward to AMC's original series, "The Walking Dead:"



It seems like Uncle P will be very busy this fall, even after his show closes...

More, anon.
Prospero

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I'll Blog If I Want To

This is a postcard from Luna Park, Coney Island's Premiere Attraction in the early 20th Century. Uncle P is so obsessed with the accounts of the attractions at Luna Park, he wrote an as yet un-scored musical about it and it's founders.

Since it's after midnight here, it is officially my Birthday. And if you must know, I am Old Enough to Know Better and Young Enough to Say 'F**k It' and Do It Anyway, Bitches! I have been this age for quite some time now and expect to remain this age for quite some time yet (or at least, I hope to).

Several of Uncle P's dearest friends, including D, K, Q and Dale - as well as some old college buddies he hasn't seen in ages are joining me for an adventure to a place I've never been and I can't wait. I'll post pics and stories... eventually.

And for the curious, here's some footage of the original Luna Park, shot in 1903:

The boat ride was called the Shoot the Chutes and it's obvious there was more thought given to thrills than to safety. The pile-up on the slide at the end would be a tragic accident, today. Still, the story of how that amazing place came to be is just as fascinating as the place, itself.

More...
Prospero

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The Gayest Nonsense You'll See This Week

Most of tonight's post is made up of last night's (far from sloppy) left-overs. I say "most," because I did find one of the items below this afternoon.

And before any of y'all get up in my face, I know that's a ROYGBIV rainbow in the picture of Pegasus, but when I Googled 'gay rainbow unicorn' and found what is literally the antithesis of that phrase, I couldn't not use it. Oh irony, how you mock me. Or something.

Then again, I suppose the rather phallic (not to mention psychedelic) mushrooms do push the whole thing from 'mythological' to 'gay.' By the way, what does a gay Pegasus eat? Haaaa-aaay! I'm here all week. Try the veal and tip your servers.

Anyway, I posted about the rainbow dude the other day and I guess I was right on the cusp of a meme, because yesterday I found a clip that makes the single best use of of AutoTune, ever:

Genius! I'd really love to meet the Rainbow Guy. I mean, how many of us can honestly say we have something that brings us that much insane joy?

And speaking of insane, the ever-expanding Cheezeburger network is holding a contest on Failblog. An Evil-You-Know-What contest that they're calling the ClownFail Contest. I would post an image, but I love too many coulrophobes to do that... Brave souls like you and I who find creepy clowns to be supercalifragilcalilisticexpialidociously fun, check out the gallery and vote for your favorite EYKW. New photos are added daily.

Did someone say "creepy photos?" What? Oh, my mistake. Yes, "Pathetic Celebutard Court Video" is very different. The Cult of Celebrity is nothing if not bizarre. We elevate people based on the slimmest of merits, then watch like rabid hyenas as they fall, drooling to tear them apart. I know I've taken plenty of potshots as 'Lilo,' here. I try to stay away from the celebrity gossip, mostly because I despise bloggers like Perez Hilton, who make their money exploiting rumors, innuendo and altered photos. But the once adorable and truly promising child star that was Lindsay Lohan has become a bigger train wreck than Britney and Paris combined. All the stupid bitch needs is a sex tape and she'll win the title... No... I know. Lilo needs a Sassy Gay Friend to pull her from the depths of despair. Honestly, I must admit to a certain sense of schadenfreude when I saw the video of her sentencing; and based on the comments on several websites that carried it (the majority of which were: "Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!"), so did many millions of others. Still, I can't help be saddened to see another promising young talent throw it all away.

And finally, tonight over at Towleroad, I found this rather amusing clip of gay blogger and reporter Jesse Archer and his visit to Miss Vera's Finishing School for Boys Who Want to be Girls in celebration of the release of Miss Vera's book of the same name:

Don't forget, tomorrow is a special 2nd Anniversary Edition of Caliban's Revenge, featuring an updated version of my first ever movie post and a few bonus surprises...

More, anon
Prospero

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