Finally Washing Off the 'Star Wars' Stink?

I've been a fan of Israeli-born Natalie Portman ever since her turn as a young girl who hires a hitman for revenge in The Professional. Since then, she's gone on to appear in plenty of films I really like (even if other folks don't), such as Mars Attacks!; Garden State; Cold Mountain; V for Vendetta and The Other Boleyn Girl, among others. 

Unfortunately, she also played Luke and Leia's mother in George Lucas' Star Wars prequel trilogy. Over this holiday weekend, one of the cable networks (I think it's Spike, but don't quote me) has been running these unfortunate films on what seems like a constant loop. Now, I didn't see any of them in a theater, but rather caught them on DVD or HBO. And, like many fans of the original Star Wars trilogy, I hated them. Boring and over-produced, Episodes 1 through 3 seem to spit in the face of the spirit of the original films. Of course, the payoff is seeing terrible actor Hayden Christensen burned by lava before becoming the character we all know and love to hate, Darth Vader in Revenge of the Sith. 

Deciding I may have given the new trilogy short shrift upon my initial viewings,  I decided to watch them again today. And I am somewhat saddened to report that they are no better now, than when I first saw them.

It has recently been revealed that Lucas never actually intended to make a trilogy of trilogies, but rather wrote the original Star Wars because he wanted to make a Flash Gordon movie, only to find the rights unavailable. So it should come as no no surprise when 20-odd years later, Lucas sat down to write the series' prequels, he had nothing really worth saying. 

Not that he was the greatest writer to begin with. In fact, one of the original trilogy's most famous lines was ad-libbed by Harrison Ford, after several takes using Lucas' original. But the dialog in the prequels is among Lucas' worst, and poor miss Portman comes off sounding like an ill-bred hillbilly, rather than royalty. And it doesn't help that Christensen's 'skills' as an actor fall far short of the rest of the cast. Though to be fair,  Samuel L. Jackson, Ewan McGregor and Christopher Lee all sound silly spouting Lucas' lame dialog.

Advance reviews for Darren Aronofsky's (The Wrestler) latest film have been pretty much off the charts, and Portman is being touted for an Oscar nomination almost four months before Black Swan's official release date. Having spent five seasons working with NYC Ballet as an actor in their Education programs, I know that ballet dancers can be... odd. Even odder than actors, if you can believe that. Their days are made up of both grueling physical pain and artistic expression, a combination which can make for some intense personalities, especially among it's stars. If you've ever seen The Turning Point, you have some idea of what I'm talking about. So it comes as no surprise to me that Aronofsky should want to explore the dark side of dance... I've seen it up close and personal, as they say, and am looking forward to seeing both his take on it, and Ms. Portman's much ballyhooed performance. In case you've missed it, here's the trailer:

It is my fervent hope that Black Swan will finally be the movie that erases the last three Star Wars films from audiences' collective consciousness, at least as far as Natalie Portman is concerned. Of course, I'm much more excited about her involvement in the film adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, than anything. But that's just me...

More, anon.

Prospero

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Gotta Dance!

Just a quickie tonight. Rehearsals for Top Girls have begun in earnest, and I'm getting home later than usual.

My sweet Post Apocalyptic Bohemian friend Stephen, reminded me that today is Gene Kelly's Birthday.

I know there are plenty of Fred Astaire fans out there -- and with good reason. Fred's dancing was smooth and debonair. With Ginger (or any other dancer) on his arm, he was the epitome of suavity. But he seemed old even in the 1950's.

Gene, on the other hand, seemed ageless. His athletic dance style and roguish grin exuded charm and sexiness in a time when both were rarely talked about in 'polite circles.'

I am almost ashamed to admit that it wasn't until Uncle P was in his early 30's that he sat down and watched all of Singin' In the Rain, and I have kicked myself for not doing so sooner, ever since. I have also been smitten with Kelly ever since. Of course, while SITR is Gene Kelly at his quadruple threat (Singer, Dancer, Actor, Director) best, it is hardly the sum of his career as one of Hollywood's true legends.

Uncle P would have fallen flat on his ass about 300 times...

And from Summer Stock:

Wow!

And of course, there's this:

Kelly was grace, charm and elegance personified, even in his last film, the lamentable Xanadu (a movie Uncle P and his sister love, despite its many, many flaws), Kelly was nothing short of amazing:

They don't make 'em like this anymore. And that's a damned shame.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Holiday Nonsense

I'm tired of hearing about celebrity deaths. Today I learned that veteran character actor Arnold Stang passed away at the age of 91. Stang was a nerdy-looking guy with a nasally voice and a rubber face, and even though you may not recognize his name, I promise that with over 142 credits on his IMDb resume, you have seen and/or heard his work.

Well, when I went to find a 'Top Cat' clip, wonderful YouTube suggested a clip that stopped me dead in my tracks and immediately made me think of the hilarious Julia Louis Dreyfus as Elaine on "Seinfeld" and her amazingly bad and painfully hilarious dancing. Behold the astounding wonder that is, Teenage Mother:

I can only hope that Dreyfus was inspired by that very film. "Sweet, fancy Moses!" indeed. Does it get any whiter and straighter than that guy? Did anyone ask him to dance at the audition? Was there an audition? Maybe his step-father financed the thing to make his mother happy. Or maybe, just maybe, every other person involved with this film was equally inept in their performance as well, and therefore no one realized it was retch-inducingly bad at all. Oh bad movies, how I love your unintentional hilarity.

I ended up posting the 'Top Cat' clip to Facebook, but you can watch it here. By the way, if you aren't my Facebook friend but would like to be, please leave me a comment so we can exchange the info.

Anyway, I hope that bit of bad movie silliness helped lighten the mood. Enjoy the last two shopping days before Christmas. If you waited until tomorrow or Thursday to start your shopping, shame on you. You deserve the scorn of those who receive your last-minute desperation gifts of car-wash air fresheners; cigarettes; lottery tickets and counterfeit perfumes. You're the same kind of person who goes on a fabulous trip to an exotic port of call and brings home refrigerator magnets from the airport on your way home. If you're dones hopping and are out looking for little extras, have fun - there are still plenty to be found: air-fresheners, cigarettes, lottery tickets and counterfeit perfumes.

Merry Christmas, suckers!

More nonsense, anon.
Prospero

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The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

See? I knew there'd be at least one this month. And of course, it will put me over 31 posts for the month, but I just had to share this bit of fabulousness that is "The Yes Dance" (via):

More, anon
Prospero

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