Suckers

Please forgive your Uncle P if I'm covering a topic I've discussed before, but Vampires are really hot right now and I find myself inundated with promos for books, movies, TV shows and graphic novels that share this common theme.

To your right is a screen grab from the infamously gay (and very hot) video for Lady Gaga's "Teeth," directed by Sergio Cerrone. The original post has since been removed from TouTube, but I just watched it again here. And I've embedded another YouTube version below (though I can't guarantee how long it will be available for viewing). I imagine Gaga herself must have approved of this video. It's certainly in keeping with her style and philosophy.

I don't know exactly who is responsible for the recent rash of vampires in current media. I suspect that the insipid Stephanie Meyer Twilight series has something to do with it, though I have to mention Alan Ball's HBO series "True Blood" and the CW series "The Vampire Diaries" as contributors to the phenomenon. And recent vampire films such as Let the Right One In (and its soon-to-be released American remake Let Me In), Daybreakers and the upcoming Stakeland are also indicative of the trend. Hell - I've even written my own musical version Dracula, called "Children of the Night." I'm still looking for a composer for the show - my original composer bailed because she felt she wasn't up to the task, but the three or four melodies she did write were magnificent.*

Why are vampires so hot right now? I'm not sure. They've never really gone out of style, as far as I can tell. Vampires in modern times have come to be associated with sex, more than horror (and I'm not going to go into the whole psychological associations tonight - I've already done that, and probably will again). Bottom line: times are tough. People are losing their jobs, their homes and their investments. When times are tough, people turn to escapism. Modern vampires represent youth, sex and power - all the things that seem to be slipping away in these turbulent times. If we can hold onto those things forever - so much the better. And unlike their undead brethren, Zombies, Vampires don't seem to have the whole "rotting, stinking, green-blue flesh" thing going on.

Even traditional network TV has jumped on the bandwagon. ABC has a new show premiering next month called "The Gates," starring "Boston Legal" alum Rhona Mitra, about a community of Vampires, Werewolves, Witches and assorted supernatural beasties. Think of it as "Desperate Vampires." Here's a teaser preview:

ABC doesn't exactly have the best track record when it comes to genre shows - my guilty pleasure of last season, "Eastwick," is a prime example. And the teaser above certainly has a "cheese" factor that doesn't exactly bode well for more than a 12 episode summer run. Still - they may fool me. After all, "Dark Shadows" ran daily for 4 years on ABC Daytime in the late '60's (but don't get me started on the proposed Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movie version).

I suppose that as long as people fantasize about eternal youth, sex and power, vampires will remain a staple of popular culture. And honestly, I can't really imagine people not fantasizing about eternal youth, sex and power. It's only (in)human nature...

Finally, as promised, here's that gay vampire video for "Teeth:"

More, anon.
Prospero

*On a side note, if you know someone who might be interested in collaborating as a composer, please let me know.

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Suck It!

How telling is it that when I went in search of this image, the word "gay" was part of the url? Anyway, I'm sure you've guessed by now... tonight's Shocktober post is about those Euro-trash imports, Vampires.



They've been a part of most cultures (or creatures much like them) as long as there have been cultures. It took a Victorian era Scotchman, writing a definitive Gothic horror story, to turn the monster into a tragically flawed romantic anti-hero. No, of course Stoker didn't do that. But he started it. It would be almost another 100 years before Anne Rice came along and finished the job for him. And, with a few exceptions, it's been downhill, ever since.



The inspiration for this post was a quote from an Esquire article (via): "Vampires have overwhelmed pop culture because young straight women want to have sex with gay men."



Whaaaa....??!!?? Really? Hmmm... not because gay men want to have sex with gay men? Really? I may be a zombie guy, but I was a vampire guy first. And I gotta be honest with you. Vampires are pretty gay, but I don't know any straight girl who wants to sleep with a gay boy. I do know a gal (a dear friend who shall remain nameless) who desperately wants to be in the same room as two guys having sex, proving the exception to the rule about straight guys and lesbians vs. straight women and gay men. Straight girls are drawn to gay boys as protectors and confidantes. We're "safe" for them. If a gal wants a vampire, she wants it for the same reason a guy does: vampires are hot (well, most of the time). Not here. Or here.



But, they can be pretty damned hot here:

And, in a shout out to my Sisters who read this blog (and to throw a bone the str8 boys' way), here (Clip NOT Safe for Work):

And even here:

What happened to you, Joel Schumacher? You used to make good (okay - not terrible) movies.



Of course, the quote from Esquire is referring to this mess:

I love that there were people at this year's ComiCon wearing signs that said: "Twilight Ruined ComiCon." And I really don't get Pattison at all. Flat-faced, greasy-haired and pasty. When was that ever sexy? Yuck! Hell, I'd do Langella before I'd even think about doing that little twit. But, in all fairness, the only boys I know that glitter are gay... hmmm. Ms. Meyer's Mormon pro-abstinence propaganda seems like a particular slap in the face to a sub-genre that has always relied on sex (and I'll get to that topic, shortly).



Anyway I prefer my vampires like this:

Or this:

In the end, a vampire is all about penetration and the exchange of bodily fluids. Sound familiar? Yes, it's also the allure of eternal youth, power and mystery, but all of those can be boiled down to sex, as well. And we all know by now, that sex sells. Gay, straight, bi or Furry, sex (like birth and death) is one of those common denominators that tie us all together, whether we like to admit it or not. I am looking forward to the day when the vampire becomes a monster, again, rather than a pale simpering boy wearing glitter gel.



More terrors, anon.

Prospero

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