Nom, Nom, Nom (Movie Edition)

Are there two more gorgeous people than Campbell Scott and Isabella Rossellini in their prime? This shot is from one of my favorite movies, Big Night. Of course, Big Night is a lovely, touching and appetite-inducing film about hope and family and the silence in which two brothers can say more than any spoken words could. Oh, and food. Tons and tons of food. A feast fit for a king, actually.

Brothers Primo (Tony Shaloub) and Secundo (Stanley Tucci) run a failing Italian restaurant at the Jersey Shore in the 1950's. Perfectionists, they serve their family recipes to patrons who don't always appreciate their efforts. When they hear that singer Louis Prima may be coming for a meal while in town, the two set about preparing a massive dinner party, invite all their friends and family and wait for Prima to show. The meal they prepare is one of the best ever set to celluloid, and features a timpano, a sort of pasta; meat; cheese and sauce pie, so named because of its resemblance to a drum.

Minnie Driver, Allison Janney, Ian Holm and Liev Schrieber all take part in the meal, which immediately induces the need to eat pasta and other evil carbohydrates.

I mention the timpano in particular, because it was part of our latest themed dinner party, "Food from Movies." Even now, several hours after eating, I am stuffed. We started out innocently enough, I suppose. The appetizer was cheese fondue, inspired by La fondue. Next was salad (Uncle Prospero's contribution): Warm Goat Cheese and Endive Salad with Pears and Candied Nuts, inspired by There Will Be Blood. I made some minor alterations to the rather expensive recipe I found on Epicurious and would make some adjustments if I made it again, but the end result was still a delicious and unusual salad which everyone enjoyed.

Then came the three-dish entree: Beef Bourguignon (from Julie & Julia); the timpani and sweet Mary's last-minute, "I-was-freaking-out" chicken tetrazzini (from "It's gotta be in some Italian movie," though I'm convinced it's because Mary is obsessed with this); all of which were delicious, labor-intensive and calorie-laden. And then to end things off, using a real movie recipe from Waitress, Mary made a "My Baby Was Crying and I Was Up All Night" cheesecake for dessert. Creamy, delicious and not at all too rich, it was the perfect way to end another successful gathering of most of my longest and dearest friends.

Tomorrow it's high-fiber, high-protein, low-fat all the way. In fact, I may not eat at all.

And since this post mentions one of my favorite food movies, I suppose I should mention my very favorite food movie, Tampopo.

This Japanese version of the classic Western Shane, is about a mysterious trucker who helps a widowed mother to make the ultimate ramen. Interspersed are several tales which all revolve around food, including the story of two gangland lovers who share some rather erotic eating experiences and the story of a woman who rises from her sickbed to prepare the best meal of her life before happily dropping dead. I couldn't find a dubbed or subtitled trailer, but you'll get the idea from this original Japanese version of it:

Over the next two months, you know we will all be indulging a little bit more than usual. And while I will continue to strive to be good (-27 lbs and counting), I know there will be plenty of temptations I simply won't be able to resist. And that's OK. We're all only human, aren't we?

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

How on Earth did I never hear of Dutch "Bear Band" Bearforce1? Apparently formed two years ago as a Boy Band parody, their Disco medley was a target of YouTube parodies which escaped my gaydar (which has proven far from infallible) somehow.

Sadly, my first introduction to them is in the announcement of their break-up. TowleRoad has the full story from Bearotic (may be NSFW), along with photos and two other videos from the Hirsute Hustlers, as well a few of those parodies, here. I've posted their eponymous first* single, below.

Now you may well be asking yourself why I put a picture of Yogi and Boo-Boo, rather than a picture of Bearforce1. Honestly, after you see the clip, you'll realize how gay this picture is. A chubby Bear and his Cub traipsing through the forest, fruit floating in the air and that dirty smile on Boo-Boo's face say it all. To quote Jack MacFarland, "Does a Bear have anonymous sex in the woods?"

* I originally typed the word 'first' as 'fist,' which upon proof-reading, would still be somewhat appropriate...

Ouch! Sorry - I was possessed by the spirit of Stephen Rader, for a moment.

More, very anon.
Prospero

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Triskaidekaphobia

Well, Happy Friday the 13th to one and all! I love this picture of our buddy, Jason. I wish I had found it during the election. It's still pretty damned funny. And I do so love that slogan.

So, did you see any black cats today or walk under ladders? Did you break a mirror, spill some salt or say the real name of "The Scottish Play" in a theatre? Step on a crack and break your mother's back? Or maybe you left a pin on the floor, whispered "Bloody Mary; Bloody Mary; Bloody Mary..." 13 times into the mirror of a darkened room; invited a vampire to cross your threshold or gave the nazar, maloik or hamsa to a passing gypsy after you ran his mother down in the street because your wife was pleasuring you while driving (Really? Did I have to go there? Apparently, yes I did).

Of course, these days there aren't too many superstitious people left in the world (except maybe the Pope, Creationists and the head-shrinking tribes of South America) and to most people Friday the 13th has come to mean something else, entirely. Which is where Candidate Voorhees comes in, obviously.

I don't remember ever discussing the F13 franchise in great detail. I've seen most of them. A few are fair to middling and one or two are actually almost good. Most of them are simply 'celluloid bowel movements' (a phrase I've just now trademarked, so don't get any ideas). I know I've told you that when we got our very first VCR - a clunky, monstrously heavy old think with big push buttons like a giant cassette deck - the first movie my father brought home from the video store was the original Friday the 13th. I'd heard how horribly graphic and realistic the kills were, but I couldn't imagine anything more gruesome than Dawn of the Dead, and while the kills in F13 are pretty good, they didn't live up to the hype. I think Kevin Bacon in one of his earliest roles has the best death - skewered from under the bed with an arrow through his throat (and we'll talk about that death again when we get the film's antagonist). You all know the story. A group of horny young counselors gather at the soon-to-be-reopened Camp Crystal Lake. After a crazy old man on a bike warns them all that they're doomed, they indulge in alcohol, marijuana, strip Monopoly and premarital sex; four things to always guarantee an 80's slasher movie character's death (either each by themselves or in any combination thereof). Anyway... 20 years ago, blah-blah-blah... counselors having sex... yadda-yadda-yadda... Jason drowns... etc.; the real killer is Mrs. Voorhees. Now did you get a good look at Betsy Palmer? She's a tiny little woman approaching middle age in that movie. How the hell is she strong enough to push an arrow through a mattress and the back of Kevin's neck all the way through to the front? Seriously.

That terribly-acted first film featured some astounding effects from Tom Savini, but made no sense, really. And the rest of franchise never shied away from making sense, either. With the original killer decapitated (in another ridiculous feat of human strength on the part of actress Adrienne King), but the box-office revenues crying out for a sequel, Jason Voorhees (miraculously grown up, despite having drowned as a child) out for revenge for his mother's death in a weird, almost Oedipal role reversal. Jason wears a burlap bag over his disfigured head (it wouldn't be until F13-3D that he would don the now-iconic hockey mask), and it does feature one of the few film performances of the late and much mourned Tom McBride:

They get worse and worse as they go on, F13VIII being arguably the worst of the sequels:

What a lovely depiction of Manhattan, eh? And maybe even sillier, the franchise goes Sci-Fi in Jason X (one of only two in the franchise not to use the original title). Just imagine Jason as the Xenomorph in Alien, as the writers of this film obviously did:

And then they went right into Abbott and Costello territory with Freddy vs Jason, (the second not to mention the original) a combination of two franchises which had become such jokes, they couldn't even parody themselves well-enough to make a good movie:

One, two... New Line's comin' for you... (or at least your wallet, sucker!).

Then last year, the inevitable (and atrocious) re-boot starring "Supernatural" and "Gilmore Girls" hottie Jared Padalecki, who can't even be bothered to try and please his fans by taking off his shirt:

Needless to say, inspired by the surprising box-office successes of The Final Destination and My Bloody Valentine, a sequel to the re-boot is underway in 3D (yay?).

Anyway, I hope you had a lucky Friday the 13th. Mine wasn't awful (though my day job clients seemed exceptionally stupid and whiny, today - either they're getting worse or I'm becoming far less tolerant). Having fun talking about movies (even bad ones), more than makes up for it.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Dinner and a Movie

So, I know I blogged once before about my college friends our occasional themed dinners. We try and have at least two or three a year, but as we all get older and wrapped up in our own dramas, it gets more and more difficult to coordinate our diverse schedules, which actually saddens all of us. We've gone from four or five dinners a year to one or two.

Our last theme was "Black and White" and we all made incredibly delicious chocolate and vanilla dishes that were rather amazing. I did dessert; a chocolate and butterscotch apple crisp with vanilla icing. We all left the table sated, bloated and exhausted.

This coming Saturday, we are eating again, and this time the theme is "Movie Food." To clarify, that means foods featured in or inspired by movies. My first instinct was a timpano from the calorie-laden film Big Night, starring Tony Shaloub and Stanley Tucci (yummy enough in and of themselves). I saw that movie with Dale (who will there on Saturday) and we immediately went out for a huge pasta dinner. But I have already made one of those (an incredibly arduous dish requiring more time than I have) and want to do something different. So I deferred that to my longest and dearest friend Janet, who will no doubt, make an amazing version of it.

So, after much brain-wracking and web-searching, I have decided to make a salad inspired by Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood: Warm Goat Cheese and Endive Salad with Pears and Walnuts. The recipe sounds incredibly delicious (I'm always happy with any salad that features cheese, fruit and nuts) and appears to be not only easy, but slightly less labor-intensive than many of the other recipes I found. I suppose I could have done milkshakes, but that seemed a bit too obvious, don't you think? I'll give my full (all puns intended) recap Saturday night.

Of course, a meal like this does nothing to help my quest to lose another 5 or pounds before my 30th (ack!) High School Reunion on the 27th (which will no doubt require a very frightening post of its own). Until then, please enjoy the trailer for There Will Be Blood:

And this rather amusing parody, There Will Be Bud:

More, anon.
Prospero

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My Next "Must See" Film

Openly gay fashion designer Tom Ford makes his directorial debut with his adaptation of Christopher Isherwood's 1964 novel A Single Man, about a day in the life of an English professor (Colin Firth) who is trying to cope with the sudden loss of his long term lover. I've never read any of Isherwood's works, though I probably should.

Born in the UK, Isherwood eventually emigrated to the U.S. and settled in southern California where he began a long and tumultuous affair with a man 32 years his junior. He was friends with the great Science Fiction author Ray Bradbury and worked with satirist and screenwriter Terry Southern (Dr. Strangelove; Easy Rider).

Joining Firth in the cast are the gorgeous and talented Julianne Moore (Far from Heaven; The Hours); Watchmen's Mathew Goode as the dead lover and puppy-eyed cutie Lee ("Pushing Daisies") Pace.

And while the trailer does little to tell you what the film is actually about, it certainly displays Ford's eye for style and aesthetics and early reviews have been exceptionally positive.

Will A Single Man do what Brokeback Mountain couldn't, and finally convince Americans that love is love, no matter who is doing the loving? Probably not. If Ang Lee's gorgeous and painful tragic romance couldn't do it, I doubt any movie can. Still, I know a few open-minded straight boys (and one adorable little gay elf) I'll be dragging along with me to see it.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Dear Vincent; A Love Letter

Is there a more enduring icon of Horror than Vincent Price? Some might argue that Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi or Lon Chaney (Sr. and/or Jr.) are all more important to the genre. But Price's film career outlasted all of them.

Starting with the 1938 comedy Service de Luxe, the classically trained Shakespearean actor had a career that spanned 7 decades and included more classic films than one can count on two hands.

His first appearance in a "Horror" movie was in 1939 as the Duke of Clarence in Tower of London, with Basil Rathbone and Boris Karloff. It's an effective little chiller about the Duke of Gloucester's rise to power through torture and intimidation.

1940 proved an important year in Price's Horror career as appeared in both The Invisible Man Returns and The House of Seven Gables. Four years later, he would be seen in Otto Preminger's Laura, a noir classic about a man who frames his own brother for murder:

Two years later, he would finally have the lead in Shock, another mystery about a psychiatrist who murders his wife:

He made many films thereafter, but it was 1953's House of Wax that forever cemented his career in Horror movies. Price stars as Professor Henry Jarrod, a disfigured genius who uses real people as the models for the figures in his wax museum. Known as one of the earliest #D movies, House of Wax also featured "The Addams Family" star Carolyn Jones and introduced a young Charles Bronson as Igor:

I saw the 1980's re-release of this movie in 3D, and was highly amused by the obvious attempts to exploit the new technology, though saddened by it's headache-inducing effects.

Another 5 years passed and Price appeared in several in several films before his next Horror (really Sci-Fi) movie The Fly.

He soon teamed up with the 'King of Gimmicks,' William Castle for House on Haunted Hill and The Tingler in 1959. And then moved on to Roger Corman's adaptations of Edgar Allen Poe's stories Master of the World; The Pit and the Pendulum; and a 1962 remake of The Tower of London, in which he portrayed Gloucester. Of course, his best role under Corman's direction was as the sadistic Prince Prospero (no relation) in The Masque of the Red Death:

Price appeared in many more of Corman's Poe-inspired films before the 1971 movie that brought him to my full attention as a Horror Icon; The Abominable Dr. Phibes. As the (once again) disfigured genius who wreaks his vengeance against those he feels responsible for his wife's death, Price is both elegant and creepy in a story featuring inept policemen, corrupt doctors and elaborate deaths in a Steampunk (before there was such a term) tale of vengeance and horror featuring Joseph Cotton, Terry Thomas and Hugh Griffith:

And then there was the inevitable 1972 sequel, Dr. Phibes Rises Again:

Before his career degenerated into a parody of itself, Price had one more great role as the Shakespearean actor Richard Lionheart in Theatre of Blood, one of Uncle Prospero's favorite 70's Horror movies which co-starred Diana Rigg and Price's last wife, Coral Browne:

There would be many appearances in TV specials and series ("The Brady Bunch") afterward. But it wasn't until 1982 that Price received the tribute he was truly due. A young filmmaker by the name of Tim Burton made an animated short in tribute, simply called Vincent, which the Master himself, narrates:

Of course, Price's last film appearance was in Burton's Edward Scissorhands, as a slightly mad inventor who dies before he can give his creation a real pair of hands:

I've barely touched on Vincent Price's long and varied career, but I have to ask myself if there will there ever be another iconic Horror star like Price? I doubt it. Probably no other film actor is so is indelibly defined by the genre as Price, by all accounts a gentle and intelligent man who made a living both scaring and delighting fans over a career longer than most most modern film actors could ever hope to have. His kind is like to never be seen again. And I would have it no other way. Thank you, Vincent, for so many great performances in so many great (and even not-so-great) films.

More, anon
Prospero

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The End of the World (As Hollywood Knows It)

Now that Roland Emmerich's apocalyptic, "disaster porn" film 2012 is actually upon us, I thought I'd re-run and update a post from this past January. It was all about how Hollywood has envisioned the End of the World in oh so many variations.

Emmerich's movies are usually pretty terrible (though I must admit to having a soft spot for Stargate, but that probably has more to do with James Spader and Kurt Russell than anything else). And while Independence Day is certainly entertaining enough, the less said about Godzilla; The Day After Tomorrow and 10,000 BC, the better (Jake and Steven, aside).

Based on ridiculous speculation by people with more time on their hands than they deserve to have, 2012 posits that because the Mayan calender has only been calculated up to t December 21, 2012, that's when the world will end. Of course, any sane person will tell you that 12-21-12 is simply when they stopped calculating and that the date holds no other significance than that, despite what some nutballs would have you believe. Of course, Emmerich has taken the nutballs' ideas and run with them in an orgy of CGI destruction that rivals any EoW (End of the World) movie to come before. John Cusak, Amanda Peet, Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover lend their talents to what critics are already describing as the 'unintentionally funniest movie of the year:'

But, Hollywood being Hollywood, 2012 is hardly the first time they've depicted the End of Days. In 1951, Director Rudolph Mate and producer George Pal (War of the Worlds) gave us When Worlds Collide starring Richard Derr and Barbara Rush in a story about a gigantic asteroid headed toward Earth and the effort to evacuate as many 'important' people as possible:

In 1959, director Stanley Kramer took on the EoW via nuclear war and the fallout that follows in On the Beach, starring Gregory Peck, Fred Astaire and Ava Gardner:

in 1962, director Steve Sekely gave us his film version of the John Wyndham novel The Day of the Triffids. A spectacular meteor shower blinds most of the world's population, leaving them ripe for annihilation via an ambulatory vegetable from space. The movie is probably best known for its inclusion in the song "Late Night Science Fiction Picture Show" from the cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show. "And I really got hot, when I saw Janette Scott/ Fight a Triffid that spits poison and kills..."

And here's a terrific student-made trailer for the remake this film deserves:

Janette Scott would make another EoW appearance in Andrew Marton's 1965 film about the apocalypse, The Crack in the World. This time, it's mankind's hubris that brings about the end. Attempting to harness the apparently unlimited geothermal energy at the Earth's core, scientists detonate a nuclear bomb inside a volcano, setting off a series of cataclysmic events. Johnny Douglas' terrific score helps make this one a favorite of yours truly:

In 1978, George A. Romero gave us the first true 'Zombie Apocalypse' movie Dawn of the Dead, in which a rag-tag group tries to survive while holed up in a suburban shopping mall. The End has never been quite so scary (or gruesome):

In 1983, the ABC network brought us The Day After, a chilling post-nuclear tale about the effects of fallout and the efforts to survive an attack by the Reds. They issued warnings that young children shouldn't watch and school districts around the country offered counseling to their students who may have been unsettled or upset by its graphic depictions of destruction and the effects of radiation poisoning:

12 years later, James Cameron brought his own vision of nuclear annihilation at the hands of a sentient computer program in Terminator 2: Judgment Day, his FX groundbreaking sequel to The Terminator:

ABC destroyed the world again in 1991 with Mick Garris' mostly excellent version of author Stephen King's The Stand. This time, it's a virus which kills off most of the population, though the Devil (in the form of actor Jamey Sheriden) has a lot to do with the horrors visited on humanity:

Personally, I would have made a few different casting choices. Laura San Giacomo in particular is all wrong for her role, but it still remains one of the better adaptations of a King novel.

In 2002, director Danny Boyle took on the Zombie Apocalypse with his movie 28 Days Later, in which a virus accidentally released by animal rights activists decimates Great Britain, much to blue-eyed beauty Cillian Murphy's consternation:

And probably most infamously, overrated director M. Night Shamalama-Ding-Dong took on the genre with his ridiculous 2008 killer trees movie, The Happening. As before, the movie is so bad, I can only bring myself to post the "South Park" parody:

Finally, in the hands of Ruben Fleischer, the EoW is a hilarious pastiche of zombie-killing and amusement park rides, punctuated by celebrity cameos and wanton destruction of all that we now hold dear. Zombieland may well be the most financially successful zombie movie ever, but it is also a telling story of survival and camaraderie among the worst of circumstances:

And while the real End of the World will probably take place with a fiery explosion when the Sun inevitably goes nova, you and I and the Internet will probably be long gone (unless of course, mankind actually manages to colonize other planets). But I'll leave that up to the Sci-Fi futurists and take solace in the fact that I will not be around to see it. Quite honestly, I've barely scratched the surface when it comes to EoW movies. There are plenty more where these came from. Mad Max; A Boy and His Dog; The Omega Man; Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes (why is Charleton Heston always around for the EoW? -- Did Hollywood expect him to live forever?). I could go on and on (unlike the human race will). So, what's your favorite Hollywood Apocalypse? You know I love your comments.

More, anon.
Prospero

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