Harry Potter and the Fountain of Youth

After last night's winter rant, I awoke to horrific back spasms (caused by digging out my car) and consequently spent most of the day sleeping under medication. Naturally, I didn't sign on to the Net until about an hour ago.

So, it wasn't until my daily visit to Towleroad* that I finally saw all those Superbowl commercials that everyone goes crazy for, and while I think the Doritos commercials were all pretty hilarious, I'm still pissed at CBS for running the Focus on Family ad. But that's not the point of this particular post.

No, this post is about the ad that most caught my attention. It was for Universal Studios Orlando Theme Park and their newest attraction "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter."

Now, I'm not particularly a Harry Potter fan. I read the first book on a flight from Philly to Tampa (with time to start the Stephen King I was reading at the time) and wasn't all that impressed. The first two or so movies were fun, but I haven't really seen an entire Harry Potter movie since. However, Uncle Prospero is a HUGE Theme Park fan. I always have been. Church carnivals, State Fairs, old-fashioned amusement parks and modern Theme Parks -- I just can't resist 'em. The food, the rides, the general atmosphere of having a good time. And the best Theme Park in the world (IMHO) is Universal Studios Florida, because it combines my two favorite things in the world; movies and thrill-rides.

The park has undergone some changes since I first went back in 1994. The King Kong ride is gone and "The Simpsons Ride" has replaced Back to the Future. The Alfred Hitchcock Experience (one of my favorite original attractions) made way for Twister, a very fun tornado simulator (which I actually hoped would be a rollercoaster). Most significantly, Universal expanded the park, adding Islands of Adventure in 1999. The first five "Islands" were "Jurassic Park;" "Toon Lagoon;" "Marvel Island;" "The Lost Continent" and "Seuss Landing." The day we went to Islands of Adventure, it poured and not all the attractions were running properly ("Spider-Man" in particular), but we still managed to have to a good time. Of course, 11 years later and my sister is still a coaster-wuss and my brother-in-law has vertigo, so they don't do Universal anymore. I'll just have to convince one of my Potter-fan friends to come down with me this spring... OK - maybe I can get through the storm that is projected to add another 18 to 24 inches of snow to what we already have here in Philly tomorrow night. As they used to say in the old commercials, "Calgon, take me away..."


And two quick things before I say "goodnight."

One: If you have to ask what Harry Potter has to do with The Fountain of Youth, I suggest you go back to elementary school history and geography for the answer.

Two: In an amazing (to me, anyway) feat of timing, Yours Truly actually scooped *Towleroad, which posted weatherman Jim Kosek's on-air melt-down a full day after I did. I suddenly feel like a real-life blogger...

More, anon.
Prospero

Read More......

Oh, the Horror...

I am sure that Synvisc is a wonderful product. I have noticed that my symptoms (i.e. knee pain) have been reduced in the past few days, but I'm not sure if that's because of my weekly injections, or because of the gorgeous weather we've been having here in southeastern Pennsylvania for the past few days.

Today was my last of three injections, all of them inserted under my patella and each of them more painful than the previous one. Today's was particularly excruciating. My osteopath told me that he was giving me this last shot where the arthritis was the worst. It was all I could do to keep from kicking him in the face as he administered the shot. I came home and promptly went to sleep for two and a half hours. I'm not sure if that's because I was tired, or because of the two hefty swigs of Southern Comfort I swallowed on top of the Xanex I took before going to my appointment.

In any case, I will continue to keep you updated as to the treatment's efficacy in the coming weeks. I am hoping the shots will allow me to get back on my treadmill and lose even more weight in my struggle to get healthy and attractive again.

Back to movies, theatre and nonsense soon.
More, anon.
Prospero

Read More......

On Pain

Pain is both universal and subjective. What may be excruciating for you, may be a walk in the park for me. Conversely, what may seem like nothing to me might make you cry just thinking about it.

While still in my 30's I was diagnosed with degenerative osteoarthritis in my right knee. It wasn't awful. I thought maybe I had sprained or over-extended it. It was occasionally annoying, but certainly manageabe. Over the years, it has progressed into someting that is always annoying and more and more often, unmanagebly painful. Genetics, age and years of dance-realted abuse in Musical theatre all were taking thier toll. Little over a year ago, I saw my GP about it, who prescribed an NSAID which provided much relief. But this past spring, I noticed I was having some stomach issues, a common side-effect of long-term NSAID use. I stopped taking it and went to my GP again, who gave me a topical version of the drug I had been taking orally. I might as well have used Pond's Cold Cream for all the good it did. A third scrip (for naproxin) failed, as did a fourth (for the generic version of Ultram - which was as effective as St. Joseph's Baby Aspirin).

So, I broke down and used Health Advocate (one of the many terrific bennies provided by my full-time employer) and found an orthopedist who prescribed both physical therapy and Synvisc injections. Today, was my first of three shots.

Now, I've had some painful injuries in my day. Cuts; sprains; dislocations, etc. I had three root canals done on the same tooth (a long story) as well as several oral surgeries (all related to a childhood injury). In 1994, I had a nosebleed so bad that an ER doctor had to cauterize it with a ball of molten silver-nitrate, Two years ago, I had a procedure in which a camera was shoved up inside me to take pictures of my bladder (oh, the horror!). None of these impressively scary procedures can compare with the pain I experienced in a rather pleasant treatment room at the hands of a very pleasant orthopedist.

Please understand, I always have been and always will be a baby when it comes to three things: the dentist, the phlebotomist and any kind of injection. Several friends gave me tips on how to deal. "Pinch your arm," one friend posted on facebook. "Blow bubbles" my 'work spouse' said. "Just look away," was the prep nurse's advise. None of them worked and none of them could have prepared me for the most intense 5 seconds of white-hot pain I have ever experienced. It literally took my breath away. Now I know why women have babies.

And I have to go back for 2 more. This stuff better work.

More, anon.

Prospero

Read More......